Episode 166 - Sex Million Pounds of Torque
/Hey there, this week HWIDG's coming to you live from our bunker 2 miles under the earth. As soon as the news of the coronavirus hit, we moved to our secret bunker operation, and no there's not room for anyone else, so have fun in Fallout! As your skin sloughs off up there, we're down here feasting on 50 lb. prepper meal buckets. Mmmmmmm, rehydrated Beef Product Enchiladas. Anyways, if your ears haven't filled up with blood and pus yet, stay around and listen to us bicker about:
* Finally Getting Something Ruined
* People Who Don't Understand Analogies
* "Too Soon"
* Other Mustang Guys
There comes a time in everyone's life when one of their beloved objects is ruined for the first time. Maybe they redesign your favorite car and now it's ugly. Maybe they reboot your favorite cartoon as a kid into a grimdark, sex-fueled, dystopian nightmare. Or perhaps your favorite movie is done yet again but with 500% more CG and as a 10-part TV miniseries. Or, they can take a franchise that you've just recently discovered and rip out all that makes it special among its peers and turn it into a generic sci-fi action series. Alex Kurtzman, I hope you contract this new coronavirus and the hospital TV only plays TNG repeats so maybe you learn something. And you do. You see the error of your ways, your body shakes off the terrible threat, you get released, and then I stab you in the throat with a bat'leth.
Analogies are like cars. Most people that have them use them everyday, and understand how they work. They use them correctly, and with proper care. Then there's everyone else. Stupid people, mostly. They were taught how to drive, yet it went in one ear and out the other, and they survive on pure instinct. The kind of people that have hundreds of tickets, are constantly in accidents, and yet somehow their insurance says, yup, you're a great driver.
When is it "too" soon? Probably in the room as the person’s dying. Once that heart stops beating? They’re game. Everyone dies. Everyone goes through other people’s deaths. And guess what? Laughter is the best medicine for grief. It gets you over that hump quicker. We should amend “too soon” to be “not funny enough”, because we’ve all laughed at a joke that was told “too soon” but laughed anyways because the joke was funny enough.
Mustang drivers, they’re tightly-wound, rage-filled, speeding maniacs who are looking to take any and everyone out with themselves on the road. They tinker over every little part of their “baby”, they give it a dumb name, and we all know they’re compensating for their own small “hemi”. They measure themselves against their brethren constantly, gauging V6 vs V8, GT vs Shelby vs. Cobra vs. Anaconda vs. Not-being-a-douche. It may seem like we’re grouping a lot of different people together just because of the car they drive, and you’d be right.
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON, NEWPROJECT2 or by BUYING A SHIRT!