Welcome to Here's What I Don't Get, now with 100% more Spooky Scary Skeletons! It's October finally, so get your spook on, your colonizer on, your hay ride on, and most importantly, on October 17th, get your virtual desktop cleaning on. Put on your favorite Halloween song, warm up some cider and sit back as we tell you the tale of:
* Positively Platitudinal
* Settling for Windows
* Social Media Skeletons
* Ugly and Unorganized Files
Keepin' it posi. PMA: positive mental attitude. Optimism! Finding joy in the small things in life. Live, laugh, love. Dance like no one is watching! Find the beauty in the ugly days. Never settle for less than you deserve! You are not the mistakes you made! KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON! This is a PSA: If you come across someone saying any of these things out loud, has them hanging on a wooden board, or types them followed by a low-fps tumblr gif, please put on your special made ANTI-PLAT Helmet and engage the proprietary ANTI-PLAT extending boxing glove. Then, forcefully read from the included ANTI-PLAT Motto Card. Afterwards, be sure to spout the quality of the ANTI-PLAT helmet and it's related accessories.
Speaking of settling for less than you deserve, how come we don't deserve a better Operating System than the junk Microsoft gives us? Apple is over here in "No Buttons, It JUST WORKS-land" and it seems that Microsoft is slowly edging themselves toward that too. Obfuscating previous options to sub-sub-sub menus, making sure you're an ADMINISTRATOR WITH ACCESS so you plebes don't delete System32. But what about the power user? Are you TRYING to turn us into "Linux Guys"? I don't wanna be one, but you're really pushing me towards it, Mr. Gates.
Maybe the spookiest skeleton of all is the 'edgy humor' you liked at 17 and quoted verbatim on Facebook. Why? Because god forbid you get your 15 seconds of fame these days and someone digs it up like a dead dog. Or the multi-billion dollar company you're applying for comes across it and now you're stuck mopping up at KFC. But guess what? The upside is that while you mop up some 4 year old's regurgitated Famous Bowl, the 16 year-old fry-cook Eugene will tell you all the dead baby jokes you could ask for!
Possibly the nerdiest rant the Handlebreaker has ever gone on is nevertheless important! Law versus Chaos. Light versus Dark. Good versus Evil. Folders versus Desktop Dumps. Final versus Final2_NEW_QUICKFIX_HD_COMP_092819. These ancient battles have gone on for far too long! Why? The agents of chaos are hidden among the rest of us lawful folks. These people can seem good and friendly. But then you get a peek of their desktop and it looks like someone played 52 Card Pickup with them.
All this and more on this chock full o’ Todd episode. Voicemails, news, and hey what’s that a nice surprise gift package! Don’t forget to join our DISCORD and support the podcast on PATREON or by BUYING A MUG.