Episode 96 - Mail Order Brides
/WOOF WOOF! That's right it's the HWIDG Party Bus here to take you downtown, uptown, and all around, and that's before we start driving heyo! Ground rules, folks, number one: no kegstands. That's a legal thing, too many concussions. Number two: if you brought some "shnacks" you gotta share. Otherwise, big man Tito in back is your hookup. Number three: no, the bus driver is not a party poopers for not doing shots. Think, people. Numbers four through seven, don't do any of these:
* Taking Your Dogs Places
* Forever, Episode 6 - "Andre and Sarah"
* Google's Listening/Hostage Strategy
* Phone Call Run Arounds
Places to take your dogs: your house, the park, the vet. Unless you have a geniune need to bring your trained support dog with you, odds are you're just making everyone else miserable. They're probably a yapper. They're gonna fight/hump the other idiot dogs there, because it's never just one! It's some weird groupthink where people bring their dogs on planes, to concerts, and anywhere else they don't belong.
You ever been reading a book and then 3/4 through it turns into a sculpture of someone not even in the book? No, because that would be incredibly stupid. Let's just stop in the middle of the height of action for 1/8th of the story, introduce you to 2 new characters, and not apply our medium efficiently. Does that sound fun? If it does you can go to hell.
(If you're reading this in your head, speak the rest of the paragraph out loud.) I love Dane Cook, the comedian. I wish I knew if he was coming to town. You know who I also love? Dame Judi Dench! She's such a great actress. I love her in James Bond movies. Also, Robin Williams in Aladdin and Flubber and Jumanji. (Repeat daily, check YouTube suggestions for related videos.)
Make a phone call, give them your info, explain the problem. Get transferred, give them your info, explain the problem. Get transferred, give them your info, answer a security question, explain the problem AGAIN. Get transferred, raise your voice, argue with the person about if you raised your voice or not. Call them scam artists, get your phone service cancelled. Congrats, no more need to call them!
All this and more on this episode of the podcast. Find out what movie won this month's battle, and who's getting big brother'd by Google. Join us in our DISCORD hangout, or maybe find loads of bonus content on our PATREON!