Episode 104
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This is it! We made it to two years! Everyone at Here's What I Don't Get Inc are very proud to share this momentous occasion with you, our loyal fans. And to that end we have a very special announcement for you. Introducing HWIDG+! Our new system HWIDG+ works just like the podcast currently does, for the low price of 49.99 a month! On the other hand, you can use HWIDG Free, which grants you the first 5 minutes of the podcast for absolutely free! Just add another 4.99 for every 5 minute increment more you want to add! We believe this adjustment to our system is best for both us and you. This gives you total control on just how you want your podcast experience to be. We know everyone will be completely on board with this and it won't start riots online and in the streets, guaranteed! So, enjoy it for 2 weeks before we revert back to the old way all while putting the entire blame on you and:
* Burning the Coffee Pot
* Too Many Emails
* Useless Soundboard Customer Support
* Black Month
Coffee! Some can't live without it, and the rest of us don't get the runs. It's a very personal experience making coffee. What kind of bean, what kind of roast, how strong do you make your cup, do you add any sugar or cream? Now introduce that into an office environment and prepare to settle for crap. If that wasn't bad enough, office kitchen behavior is worse than a dorm room's. Stolen food, mugs, and plates abound, all while people ignore their dirty dishes, or worse, leave that little bit of coffee in the pot and let it turn into sludge. Try as you might, it's gonna happen. I bet the people that work at the offices of coffee manufacturers have to put up with this crap too.
If I buy something, I want a maximum of two emails, and even that's pushing it. Order received, order shipped. It's not tough. I don't need 50 emails because I ordered multiple items. I don't need individual invoices for every jellybean in a two pound bag, that would be absurd, but it sure feels like that's what you get sometimes. Not to mention the after-arrival begging stage. "Did your item arrive in good condition?" "Are you satisfied with your purchase?" "Here are other things you might like based on your recent purchase!" "Please rate us 5 stars!" How about I rate you a nice negative 7 stars and report you for filling my inbox with spam?
It sounds great doesn't it? The person that sold me this expensive item will let me call them, free of charge, and they'll help me fix it? It's a pipe dream. You get the run around more than the guy from Blues Traveler. And that's if they don't block you immediately. "Sir you need to call a different number." THEN WHY IS THIS NUMBER LISTED UNDER CUSTOMER SERVICE? And they never actually know what to do. You're better off consulting other owners online about it. At most the customer service rep has the same manual you do, and treats it as gospel. If that don't work, well, "you can always upgrade to our new product".
Cyber Monday, Ruby Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, Thanksgiving Thursday, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Good Sunday. We sure like to name days don't we? WELL BUCKLE UP, CAUSE THEY DON'T MATTER ANYMORE. FROM HERE ON OUT, IT'S BLACK FRIDAY 24/7. That's right! No longer limited to one day, we are legally changing the names of all the days to Black Friday. This way, you can have amazing deals whenever you want! Black Friday all year long! Nothing has meaning! What purpose is there to life!? Think about your eventual non-existence in a wooden box. You will never live in the future. Your life means nothing to the universe! It means nothing to humanity, and humanity means nothing to time. If any deity should be worshiped it's time, and you can do so with these INCREDIBLE BLACK FRIDAY DEAL ON ALARM CLOCKS!
As always, we listen to your voicemails, and more on this week's celebratory episode. A big thanks to all the listeners who keep us and this podcast going. Check out the DISCORD, check out the PATREON, you know the deal, and we'll see you for 104 more episodes.
