Episode 103 - Hilary Clinton's Secret Lizard Baby
/This is your captain speaking, thank you for flying HWIDG Airlines. I know most of you are looking forward to getting home, but first we gotta go through a couple of rules. First of all, everyone will be happy to know we've met our FAA mandated minimum screaming baby count for today! Second, congratulations to Harold Weiss who gets the lucky seat directly accross from the restroom. Your nose will be partying tonight! Thirdly, unfortunately we are out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, I know, I know but we do have these lovely replacements:
* Being Sick
* Tabloids
* The Quiet Man
* The Peter Principle
Being sick. Not like, hospital sick, but just sick enough that you get all lethargic and tired, achy, and able to do most things but it sucks to do anything. It sucks. It’s like on Star Trek when Geordie needs to make repairs to something, so they can’t warp anywhere, stuck in the middle of nowhere space unable to do anything. At least then it usually leads to a cool holodeck episode. In real life, it leads to colors of bodily fluids you didn’t think were possible. Most of the time all you can do is the old RX cocktail and push through it. So heat up some broth, slap some vapor rub on your chest, curl up in bed, and prepare to get a lot of sleep, but the bad, interrupted kind of sleep.
In today's news, we've got photos you won't believe! We found a wormhole to 1953 and it's inside Madcucks' crown?! Also, an update on Michelle Obama's secret love affair with the ghost of Jacob Marley! But first up, corrections! Last week we told you about a John Lennon sighting at a dinner in Lawrence, Kansas. We're sorry to tell everyone that it was not the former Beatle, but instead it was the thought-to-be-formerly-fictional character Harry Potter. Sources say the line cook was magically turned into a rabbit, who still smokes a pack a day.
Millions of dollars. Square Enix put in millions of dollars to make the pile of dung known as The Quiet Man. Buggy, ugly, terrible combat, short but still too long, all of this would've made for just a bad game, but they topped themselves but plastering a low pass filter over ALL sound in the game, rendering it sounding like your headphones are halfway unplugged, and it's made even WORSE by having a subtitle option that doesn't work. That's right, you play as a deaf man that can read lips and sign, but screw you if you want to understand any of it. The kicker? "Wait a week and we'll patch the sound back in for new game plus mode."
Management skills must be taught. Those that are already good at it? They learned it somehow. You can't just promote someone that's good at something into being the head of that department, managing others do that thing. It doesn't work that way. Chances are they don't even want to manage, but it's moving up, which is a good thing. Here's a tip, if they're so good at it, why would you want then to stop doing it and manage others that do lesser work. Just pay that person a bit more, and everyone will be happier.
As always, we've got all this and more on this week's episode! Including voicemails, the December battle royale finalists, and spooky ghost stories! Thanks to everyone that supports the podcast, and don't forget to check out our PATREON and DISCORD!