Here we see the podcast known as Hereswhatidontgetasaurus. It walked the Earth around 40 million years ago and was the apex predator of its time. The horns on its head were used to spear prey that walked too slow in front of it. Unfortunately, the Hereswhatidontgetasaurus was driven into extinction by it's own self. They were prone to fits of rage that frequently ended with it charging off of cliffs or into bodies of water. Some of it's common prey included:
The End of the World
The Restart Dilemma
Grab a pint or two of Chunky Monkey and turn up the Adele, cause it's time to cry your eyes out over what was and what could have been. Drink the sorrows away, but be weary or else you'll wind up leaving 17 drunk voicemails. But, once you've sobered up, it's a new day and It's time to get back on that horse, bucko. Hit up Tinder or Grindr and pound your sadness away. Maybe try some new stuff out! You never know, you just might end up really liking the buzz that the car battery adds to those nipple clamps.
Virtual Reality! It's been the future of interactive technology for more than 30 years! But now, it's at its most advanced and most popular! It's never been better! You can even take your phone and a 6 dollar cardboard set and dip your toes into the VR world. But don't. Phone VR sucks. You can buy the best phone with the best screen, the best headset, but by that point you've spent enough to buy the top of the line full VR headset, with special made controllers and everything! Phone VR, if you can get it to work, is at best a 5 dollar county fair attraction.
Forget the Mayans, 2018 Twitter is the best predictor of the Apocalypse. The problem? It's every day. Funny enough, the days come and go, and yet, no Apocalypse. And believe me, I've ingested a LOT of apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic media. And it's not a one sided problem. Every time each side takes a modicum of power or control, the crazies come out. Remember the militias that were ready to overthrow the government in 2016? Yeah, me either.
You start reading a book, you're a couple chapters in, but then a new season of Ghost Hunters starts up and you forget. Then you get addicted to the new battle royale game, and that takes up all your time. A year and a half later, you get the itch to pick it up again. What do you do? Do you start from the beginning? Or do you pick up right where you left off, piecing together your memories of it like Jason Bourne? What if you weren't a couple chapters in, what if it was more like 3/4ths and it's 1200 pages long?