Episode 28 - "This Time it's Terminal"
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Tab is back in North Carolina and Buck is back in the dungeon, but who else lurks in the shadows? Find out as the guys bring in the following topics
- Burger Topings
- Cancer Movies
- Crowd Funding
- Breakup Songs
Buck and Tab recently ate at a Statesville restaurant where Buck used to work, and Tab was astonished by all of the delicious topings available, but since he's some sort of flavor miser, he opted for only cheese on his burger. Things take a turn for the bland when Tab doubles down as Buck attempts to flavorsplain, even though they both end up agreeing that spinnach and Romaine lettuce are better than Iceberg. But even though Tab may find jalapenos cancerous on burgers, Buck's first issue is even moreso . . .
Has it ever happened to you, where you wanna take your lady to a movie (I guess I'm talking to the guys here) and you pull up the theater's website to see what's playing, and are instantly woman-saulted by the sound of accoustic guitars, ukeleles, and a disjointed conversation between a man and a woman over a montage of happy moments that slowly drifts down into a hellscape of a montage of arguing, crying, and that ever-so-important shot of someone getting the bad news from their doctor " . . . the CANCER is back . . . " and you get that sinking feeling that your night just went straight into the sewer? If so, it's because you're going to see a cancer movie. And while your lady may possibly come out of the movie feeling some warm fuzzy feeling as the wipes tears from her eyes and popcorn crumbs from her blouse, you're never gonna get those two hours back. Or your testicles.
If you could make your own movie, it'd be badass. It'd have explosions and guns and action and people making decisions instead of just pretending that life steamrolling right over them somehow makes them brave. Your movie would be a summer blockbuster hit, if only you could get that funding. How? How will you get the cash to make your dream a reality? Maybe you think you'll crowdfund it? Maybe you're an asshole.
The truth is, for every competent person with a million dollar idea, there's an incompetent person absconding with a million dollars of your money. From medical bills to fidgeting shills, everyone wants you to fill their coffers with coin, and because crowdfunding sites give the clause that they're not responsible if you're irresponsible with your investment, there's absolutely no recourse when the cool idea you funded never comes to fruition. Thought that band was gonna make an album? Nope. Thought that game was gonna get finished? Nope. Thought that movie looked cool? Not on your life, buddy. It's enough to make a man want to break up with the internet, but there's a problem there, too . . .
So, you're listening to music somewhere, maybe in your car with your ipod or your smartphone, shuffling through mp3s, or maybe at home with your stereo, swapping vinyl LPs on the turntable, but eventually you're gonna find that one song that succeeds where that crowdfunded time machine fails. You're gonna be snatched out of the present and transported, against your will, into the past to relive that moment when she (or he) decided that this just wasn't gonna work, and you watch them turn and walk away and get hit by a meteor to the tune of Truly Madly Deeply. You've stumbled across your breakup song. And unless you've planned out an escape route, the weight of that stone tied around your foot is going to drag you down into the depths of self-reflection and outdated references as you relive the days, weeks, and months surrounding the event. Sometimes, that gravity well of misery is so irresistable, like the aroma of a delicious onion on a cheeseburger, that you eventually have to swear off an entire album. An entire band. An entire genre. Thanks, Jane. Listening again, that album was kinda dumb, anyway. I'm glad you gave me a reason to avoid it. I'm not glad about the rebound relationship that turned into a horrible marriage.
Someone tries to comment on the show, but doesn't quite pull it off, and Raff returns to make some threats, PLUS, we take some questions from the live-stream! How long is Buck's hair? You'll have to find out!
