Episode 296 - The Levee Breaks
/This summer, prepare for a new twist on an old favorite. When his basement floods in a freak superstorm, regular guy Tab is transformed into: The New Aquaman! Goodbye spandex and talking to fish, hello commanding sharks to attack local government and nailing sexy mermaids! From the team that brought you the John Wick series comes a blockbuster that is almost too big for the big screen! Starring Rich Evans as The New Aquaman, Jon Lovitz as the villainous Handlebreaker, and featuring absolutely no ties to the current DC cinematic universe or that hack Zack Snyder. Also staring:
- The Sony Lotto
- The St. Louis Curse
- A Lack of Heat Prep
- Learned Apathy
- Why Are You Still Talking to Me?
If it wasn't enough for video games to get you to gamble on costumes, voice lines, and gun skins, here comes "the supply chain". Now we've got to fill out a Powerball ticket just to get a chance to maybe give billionaires even more money for their hot new console. And the games too, on the other side we've got family-friendly Nintendo making every new Mario game a limited time event. Gotta grab it at release or it'll be gone before you know it!
Something happens when you pass through that big ol' arch in the midwest. Like it was a Lex Luthor super-machine doomsday device that Superman has to foil, it saps the luck from everyone that goes through it, siphoning it to Lex himself so he can be even richer. But this is real life, not the hypothetical Superman V movie. Hell exists and it's not in Michigan, folks. St. Louis: it's where hope goes to die.
Frigid outside? A dusting of snow? Well, kids, you stay home, and everyone else, don't bother coming in! Bundle up, we don't want you getting that nasty frostbite! You know, all those cases of urban-living frostbite! 112°F outside? Hot enough to bake cookies in your car? TOO BAD! Go to your manual labor job! No, we wont give you any water! Kids, you still gotta walk home in the heat. Don't worry about your little heads getting heatstroke, that's not a real thing!
Remember trickle-down economics? That sure worked didn't it? Well, they were on to something. Plenty of things have the ability to trickle down. Including the ability to sit there and dick around when you could be helping. All because it's a little out of your way, or not "technically" in your job description. Hemming and hawing like you're thinking about it when we all know you'd rather sit on your tuchus while people do more in 5 minutes than you do al day for less.
If someone you know quits their job and leaves town and doesn't specifically tell you to keep in touch, or you learn this information second hand. In general, THEY DO NOT WANT TO EVER SEE YOU AGAIN. Especially in this day and age where we're still connected with social media, if they don't go out of their way to follow or friend you. They don't care. And this is for personal relationships. Work? Pretend they died.
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us through the end on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.