Episode 281 - Podcastophobia — Here's What I Don't Get

Dear listeners of HWIDG, you enjoy our podcast right? But what If I told you you could have your own podcast? That's right, For just 25% of your own show's Patreon earnings, you can franchise HWIDG into your own podcast!. Be your own host! For up to 50% off market price, we'll sell you the best Issues so you too can be the Podcaster you've always wanted to be. Please, take this sample pack and tell all your friends that they too can be their own podcast all while earning me money, earning you money, and eventually the experience of barely making ends meet while we breathe down your neck for not putting up numbers. Beats working 9-5!

- Throwing Away the Script
- Phobias
- Feet
- Too Many Pets

Failure to plan is a plan to fail. Some people are good 'wingers', but most people need a plan. Plans are good, you can rehearse them, go through them, see what does and doesn't work, and refine them until you've got a solid plan. It's why Paul Fieg's terrible brand of "comedy" doesn't work, he just lets the actors improv and cuts together the "best" bits, as opposed to actually writing good jokes. Only the masters of improvisation have any chance of being just as good as those that hone and plan. And believe me, there's only a handful of those folks.

Everyone is scared of something. Creepy insects, heights, murderers are all pretty common fears to have. We stay away from those things because they can kill us, it's just survival instinct. Then there's the weird ones. Arachibutyrophobia: the fear of peanut butter. Porphyrophobia: the fear of the color purple (and I don't mean that terrible Spielberg movie, that's a perfectly normal fear to have). Gamophobia: the fear of marriage (and as any good hack comedian would put it: "AKA BEING A MAN"). But the weirdest of all? Missingthenewepisodeofhereswhatidontgetaphobia. Don't worry, we'll help you through that one.

The human body is weird. There's various textures and crevasses, areas that range from rock hard to supple and soft. There's plenty of places to look and be in to. But feet? No way. They're ragged from all the walking we do, they're one of the quickest areas to be dirty and smelly, and yet there's these groups of weirdos that A:) refuse to cover them up, even in public, and B:) the weirdos that worship at the altar of group A. Degenerates that get their rocks off on ladies' feet are some of the weirdest around, because they're so outspoken. There's nastier stuff to be into but those freaks keep it to themselves, whereas the foot fetishist can be found on many an Instagram account asking "feet pics?".

How many pets are too many? I think we've figured it out. Small animals like fish, crabs, snakes, and anything else that gets held in a large tank? Those get counted by the number of tanks, not the individual animals. Animals that be actively walking around and stuff? The limit is N+2, where N is the number of people in the household. You live by yourself? Having four dogs is too many. Two cats and two dogs? Too many. A hamster, a rabbit, and three cats? TOO MANY. In a house of four? You can have two dogs, a cat, some fish, a hamster, and a bird. Now, is that a lot of pets, YES. People will definitely know you like animals, but they can be taken care of. And then there's the monsters. The hoarders. The ones on TLC that have 16 cats and love them all because they have so much love to give. I'm sorry crazy cat lady, you don't have pets you have a zoo.

All this and more on this week's fast and furious episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.