Episode 278 - Spiderman's Mylar Surprise

This week's episode of HWIDG is brought to you by contractual obligations! It's no more than the bare minimum for you and you should take solace in that! The alternative is nothing! And most times, something is better than nothing! Contractual obligations, getting us paid and you only barely satisfied since 1933!

- Balloons
- Clinging On of Late Night TV
- Extravagance of Celebrity

Balloons suck, which is funny because you spend all your time blowing into them. And for what? So some kid will play with it for 10 seconds before moving onto something else? So some party floor gets littered with them at midnight? So you might spot a used car lot 1% more than usual? They're just garbage for our tiny lizard brains that recognize motion.

Oh late night talk shows, you used to be good, what happened to you? I'll tell you what happened, the internet. In the 80's and 90's you could tune in at 10:30 to hear some hack comedian riff on current events, interview some celebrity you dislike, and hear a song from some lady you don't know every day of the week, guaranteed. Now, you can get all that at a touch of your phone at any time of the day, and from people more charismatic and funny than the current lineup of vapid, smarmy late night hosts.

Oh to be a celebrity. To be waited on hand and foot. To have people run your everyday life so much that you forget that regular people live without 10 assistants. To want for nothing and have everything at a moment's notice. To make peons getting paid what you earn every millisecond empty your bathwater so they can afford to live. Oh what a great life.

All this and more on this week's fast and furious episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.