Episode 234 - Big, Dumb Monsters
/
Welcome back to Here's What I Don't Get, now with 100% less guests! That's right, no more of those zany neighbors joining in like Steve Urkel! Now it's back to the no-nonsense, serious life advice/true crime podcast you once loved.
- Average Movie Goers
- Dhar Mann Videos
- People Delaying You Fixing the Problem
- The Turn
Your average movie goer isn't the brightest. They've seen dozens of movies, just like us chad cinephiles, but for some reason their smooth brains won't let them recognize bad dialogue, poor CGI, continuity errors, or the terrible wooden acting of Brie Larson. For them it's "ooh shiny" moving pictures to keep their brain at just above consciousness. It's why they didn't "get" The Matrix in 1999 or Inception in 2010. It's why there's hundreds of shat-out YouTube videos "explaining" obvious aspects of movies.
Apparently YouTube is in a content drought. Despite millions and millions of videos on every imaginable subject, you average YouTube viewer just needs something easy to binge watch and keep them barely awake. I guess that's why this weirdo makes dozens of "family-friendly" "kid-approved" short films that are just Afterschool Specials. Four of these a week, of kids getting shamed for being poor, people bullied for being homeless, autistic kids getting made fun of, you know all things to instantly make you go "good guy", "bad guy". It's the plebian's daily dose of "INSTANT KARMA, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT".
You know, I love when I'm working on a problem that's driving me up a wall, taking all of my years of experience to tackle, and the doofus who hired me, who maybe knows a thing or two about a thing or two, comes up and asks me how long it's gonna take, or even worse, starts up with "have you tried this thing?". Yes, Dave, I have. It's the first thing I did. And the longer you hover around me, with me needing to explain the things I learned years ago just to bring you up to speed on the subject, let alone what I've already tried, IS MAKING THE PROBLEM LAST LONGER.
No messiah is safe from their religion. If Jesus came down to Earth, and turned out to be a gay, weed-smoking, tattooed, pierced, abortion-performing, warmonger whose first act was to burn down all churches, he would be tried and executed that day, then erased from every bible and replaced with Kirk Cameron.
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!
