Episode 233 - Service Me Now (ft. Adam from Houston)
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We here at HWIDG are proud to present our new sister podcast: HWICGIMC! On Here's Why I Can't Get Into My Car, we'll talk about all the reasons we're stuck in a Waffle House parking lot at four in the morning. Each week we'll invite a new guest for tips and tricks on how to break into your own car, even if it's at a Denny's or IHOP parking lot! All tips are guaranteed to be 24/7 breakfast-joint agnostic, and may even apply to cars stuck in steakhouses or KFC drive-thrus!
- Big Change Now
- Asshole Engineering
- The Science is Settled
It's my change and I want it now! Like Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, people these days seem to want big, overarching social and political change at the snap of a hand. Look, if anyone had an Infinity Gauntlet, they would do the snap thing just like Thanos. Of course they would. Their ideal world in a blink of an eye? Sounds great. Also that's from a comic book you morons, that's not how life works. You draw sweeping swaths of socio-political change in a moment's notice? You got a war on your hands, buddy.
Remember the days when you could just screw something apart and back together? With a flathead or Phillips screwdriver? And not with a proprietary swirly screw head or a bunch of plastic tabs and glue? Those were the days. You know, when you actually owned things that you bought. Not anymore. These days its all leases and use licenses. You don't own the thing and if you mess with it we'll come and take it back. Hiding under the guise of "trade secrets" and "user ease", we've gone from being able to repair things to just buying a new one.
As everyone knows, once someone does some science, they submit it to the Holy Council of Science and the council etches the findings into the large, indestructible, Wall of Science so it is saved there for all time and no one can change it. Then, the members of the council announce the new science to Council Enforcers who then travel to labs all across the world and inform scientists of the new science with their fists. Once the scientists prostrate themselves to the Enforcers and pray to the God of Science three-hundred and fourteen times, they are forgiven and may return to their own science.
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!
