Episode 231 - The Big Leagues (ft. Sage)

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Welcome back to Here's What I Don't Get Investigates. This week: The Closing Time Bandit. A mischievous cretin that stalks restaurant establishments that are about to close. He then slinks in just as employees get that "I get to go home" feeling and that's when he strikes. Sometimes it's a gauge of will. Just a taco or two and a drink. Other times he seems almost angry, ordering one of everything. Becoming combative when they push back. "The customer is always right" he yells as he forces them to service him. Well, tonight we have an exclusive interview with him. Prepare as we peer into his twisted mind, right after these messages.

- The Spirit of the Game
- Services Being Pushed Onto the Consumer
- Stoner Comedies

Here in America we like watching people that are actually good at the sport play it, not your neighbor Jim. So when the biggest soccer teams in Europe decided to team up to make a new league, you know, so the best players can play each other instead of sitting on a bench while the third string takes care of whatever dumpy team they're playing, all the fans called foul. They said that it was greedy! It was against the "Spirit of the Game". Then they popped open their team's official beer and watched a commercial of their team's star player selling Gatorade before buying booking a vacation to Fiji with discount code TEAMNUMBER1.

Service is a funny word these days. It comes from the word "serve" but has been bastardized. When was the last time a Google "service" did something for you instead of on behalf of its board of directors? How many times has a "service" removed a feature you actually used because it wasn't popular enough? Think about the Terms of Service. You pay for the service, but they present a contract full of rules for you to follow? Sounds shady to me.

What do stoners like? Aside from Doritos and Burgers with Grilled Cheese sandwiches as buns, they like a good laugh. There's not stoner horror movies or stoner dramas the way there are stoner comedies. Unfortunately the writers of these comedies are usually just as blazed as their protagonists so the "comedy" is just things happening. No set ups and pay off. No rule of three. No timely callbacks. Just "funny monkey" or "dude got hit in the balls".

All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!