Episode 193 - Run Red — Here's What I Don't Get

Welcome to The HWIDG State Office, please take a number. This number lets you know in what order you will be called, if your number is after 10 just go ahead and go home, there's no hope for you. Please fill out forms 75-C and 76-A completely before you are called, yes all 47 pages of them. If you require immediate help, you can sit down and shut up and wait like everyone else. Please do not interrupt employees that are on the phone loudly having a non-work related conversation or you WILL get a hand upside your head. Anyone not currently in line that has finished their forms is welcome to visit our "Room of Sharp Objects" and run around in a circle. All proceeds will directly feed our boss. Also do not in any manner attempt to:

* Government Employees
* Not Following Your Own Rules
* UPS Drivers
* Audiologs

Good pay. Short hours. Generous benefits. A lackadaisical work ethic. Would you like all of these? Then try a government job! Would you like to be the scum of the earth? Then try a government job! Can you screw over your fellow citizens with a heart full of black and still enjoy your weekend? Then try a government job! Do you enjoy loudly having private conversations in front of customers then deriding them when they want you to do your job instead? Try a government job! DO you want to work under the heel of tyranny and then in turn oppress the people you should be helping? Try a government job! Do you have an IQ under 75 and enjoy parroting a yellow print-out of canned responses? Then I assume you have a government job!

They sat absolute power corrupts absolutely. I think that's wrong. I think any modicum of power corrupts absolutely. As soon as someone has power over you, you're done. They start to create rules for you. Guidelines for you to follow. And guess what, even when you follow those to a tee, they can still screw you over for doing absolutely nothing wrong. You can check all of their boxes that you want, but those boxes are meaningless in they can just ignore them.

What can brown do for you? Apparently nothing at all. They can't give you a proper delivery window, then, they won't deliver the package at all, then they won't tell you anything helpful when you call them about it. Which is amazing because anyone with a driver's license and half a brain can do that job. Especially in an incredibly easy to navigate city built on a grid system! How many times have you been waiting on a package and seen a UPS van drive right past your place? I'd wager most people have. And that stinks. I guess we know why they're all brown.

WORLDBUILDING. LORE. You MUST retain the knowledge of this fake video-game world. How else are you going to argue with idiots about it online? They're dumb-dumbs that didn't even listen to all 128 hidden audiologs that tell the story of a dead tertiary character. But you did, dammit. You ran around in circles waiting for all 128 of those audiologs to finish. And dammit, you read all of the fake books in Skyrim too! No one else can recite the entirety of The Lusty Argonian Maid at the drop of a hat, can they? Time well spent.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!