Episode 192 - One Cult Admission, Please

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We here at HWIDG know that life comes at you fast. If you aren't prepared to move out of the way, you'll end up with a very sticky situation. That's why we're opening up the HWIDG Cares Hotline. Call us 24/7 and a qualified technician will listen to your issues through and through and then tell you to go screw yourself. Because we care. Having trouble with a co-worker? We'll listen to your manlet cries and then shame you for not confronting him instead. HWIDG Cares, call us at 1-800-YOU-SUCK and ask for:

* Sad Slow Covers for Trailers
* Moving
* Not Sticking to Naming Conventions
* Men

Picture this: you're in the movie theater and some trailer you've never seen starts playing. It's some cheesy Christmas rom-com at first, but then there's a gruesome murder. Detectives are on the hunt for a serial killer. The music intensifies. A lady sings hauntingly: "It's Christmas Eve and I've only wrapped two presents....". You think to yourself, wait a minute that sounds familiar, put you can't quite place it yet. Then the murderer strikes again! Some poor Santa Claus impersonator has been disemboweled. The song continues: "And I hate, hate, hate your guts...". And it finally comes to you. You stand up and yell, "IS THIS A GODDAMN SPOOKY SLOW COVER OF A BLINK-182 SONG?! THAT'S IT, I'M LEAVING!"

There's a reason we invented movers. Moving sucks. Mostly because it's your own stuff. The whole time you're judging your past self's buying habits, all the while trying not to scratch up the floors or walls and lose your deposit. One thing we need to start stealing from the Japanese other than weirdo anime fetishes is how they handle moving. Have you seen Japanese movers? They take care of your stuff better than you do, as if each individual item you own is a priceless faberge egg or a precious waifu.

Welcome to Here's What I Don't Get 3: Episode 137: Issue 547: The Write-Up. Tune in next week for HWIDG Resurrection: The New Episode, then the week after that for Here's What I Don't Get Resurrection 2. Followed by The New Episode Returns, followed by Here's What I Don't Get (2020). Then we'll give you HWIDG 2, but ultimately return with Here's What I Don't Get: Episode 666.

Where have all the good men gone? And where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need. Humidity is rising, barometer's getting low. According to all sources, the street's the place to go. Because tonight, for the first time, just about half-past ten, for the first time in history, it's going to start raining men.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!