Episode 188 - Felony Selfishness
/Just like the bad guy, from Lethal Weapon 2, we've got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer you can't sue. We can write graffiti, even jaywalk in the street! We can riot, loot, not give a hoot, and touch your sister's teat, you can't touch CHAZ! That's right, you can't touch us! Wait... Stop that! Stop touching us! YOU'RE RUINING OUR COMMUNAL BASIL GARDEN! GIVE US OUR HACKY-SACKS BACK YOU FASCIST PIGS! GATTACA! GATTACA! GATTACA! YOU MAY TAKE OUR LIVES BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE:
* Outbigotting
* Making the Issue About Me
* No Value In Intelligence
* Musicians Kidnapping Fans
Anyone you can hate I can hate better, I can hate anyone better than you! No you can't! Yes I can! Okay, but they can't. Agreed. What a topsy-turvy world we live in folks. It seems we've gone so far in one direction trying to undo racism that we've gone back in time, not unlike Superman in those movies. Excuse me, I'm sorry, I meant Completelyaverageman, as you know DC Comics has changed the name of the legendary icon in order for the hero to not be seen as superior to anyone.
In these trying times, we here at HWIDG have taken a step back to reflect on just how good of a podcast we are. Despite this, we feel that podcast hosts should be completely accurate to their podcasts and so, effective immediately, Tab and Tim will be stepping down from their roles as co-hosts and will be replaced by more accurate portrayals of the podcast. Starting with Episode 189, the podcast will be hosted by Todd's dog and a loop of rambling voicemails from Deadhelm.
"How do podcast?" "How make sound in head play mean angry man voice?" These Google searches were found on the personal computer of your boss. That's right, the guy that pushes you around all day despite the fact that he reads at a seventh grade level and got to where he is simply based on his age and a dash of nepotism. Oh and he makes BANK. His salary is 5 times your own and that's before all the bonuses. All the while your Master's degree is put to good use as a space-filler on your wall, and he makes sure you only work 39.5 hours a week just above minimum wage because he's such a good guy. Not to mention he makes your branch look bad every week because he thinks the red lines under the words in his emails "add a touch of color".
WANTED: A ruthless kidnapper, charged with nearly 1,000 counts of criminal kidnapping, abduction, selfishness, and larceny. This weekend a local musician kidnapped around 1,000 of his fans and forced them to pay to attend an outdoor concert that met or surpassed all health guidelines. The venue owner is also charged with felony business running, but most heinously, charging $6.50 for a small plastic cup of domestic light beer.
All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!