EPISODE 158 - DEATH TO JOHN MELLENCAMP — Here's What I Don't Get

It's leftovers week! Finish up all that Thanksgiving food while shopping for all the stock the stores couldn't get rid of this year! Half off Xboxes?! You better beat that old lady with her own cane to get the last one, you'll NEVER see a deal like that again. OH! But here comes that green bean casserole you ate way too much of. Hold on! Hold on! Oh great, you just spewed all over the ugly christmas sweater rack. You better hide your face in case anyone's recording this, lest you get turned into the last meme of 2019. While you're running out of the store, think about these things:

* Orgasm Denial
* Getting John Wick'd
* Small Town Cops
* Product Segmentation

Everything in moderation. That's the key to life. When you deny yourself something for a whole month, it's bound to affect you. And let's be honest, getting your rocks off is one of humankind's greatest and strongest urges. Deny yourself any of the other basic bodily needs and you'll die, but just because you can't die from not choking the chicken doesn't mean it doesn't affect you.

There comes a time in life when you run into it's proverbial Russian gangster. Somehow, someway, you piss off that proverbial Russian gangster and he wants his revenge. But this is no ordinary proverbial Russian gangster, this is a coked up, Dad's-the-boss, squirmy POS that doesn't realize your violent past. So when he comes to your house in the middle of the night and takes from you the one thing you love in life, he unknowingly unleashes a beast. Love your pets while you can, folks.

Wouldn’t it be nice if all small town cops were either Andy Taylor or Barney Fife? It would, wouldn’t it? But the world ain’t black and white no more, and believe you me buddy, your small town ain’t no Mayberry. It’s Mayberry’s stepbrother who's in and out of jail for making meth and has 3 babies by 4 women. And the cops? Well let’s just say there’s a reason their drug safe is always low (and it’s not due to the lack of drugs they find).

Have we covered this issue before? Sure! Doesn’t mean it’s over now. If our covering an issue magically fixed it, you’d live in a Star Trek utopia by now, sipping a Mai Tai on your beachfront property. Wanna blame someone, blame the asshole marketing executives who want to name a new product the same as an existing one plus a letter, so that at quick glance you pick the cheap retread instead of the original.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON, NEWPROJECT2 or by BUYING A SHIRT!