Episode 156 - Four More Years!

Hello fellow HWIDG-icans. For the past three years, we have served as your commanders-in-rage. Now, these years have not gone by without change, and, we'll admit it, some bit of scandal. But have we not been truthful with you? Have we not been the most upfront? We haven't. And that is what we are here to talk to you about today. We're here to tell you that, unfortunately we *do* get these things. Not only do we get them, but we enjoy them. This guise of hate and not understanding has been a screen that we have hidden behind for too long. Now is the time to reveal our true nature. Welcome to Here's What We Do Get, an NPR podcast, brought to you by CapitalOne. Join us as we discuss:

* Pre-Fanning
* Battered Wife Franchises
* Fake Politeness
* Ford Mach-E Mustang

Attention spans are now nil. We can't even remember all the *memes* that happened this year. How are we supposed to remember your dull-looking action movie trailer from 6 months ago? Pre-fanning is the old way. Droplets of information onto awaiting tongues for months or years. Nowadays our mouths are closed. Those drops aren't going anywhere. We need a thirsty looking FULL drink in front of us RIGHT NOW to get us to open our mouths.

"Oh, he was just drunk, he won't hit me anymore., he promised" she says with a black eye and a busted lip. He promises every time, yet for some reason she always ends up sleeping at her sister's house. Then he buys her flowers. He shaves and cleans himself up. He stops drinking. It's great, it's just like when they were 19. It lasts for about three weeks until one day she cooks his steak to much, then it's right back to fist city. But she still wont leave him. That's what it's like being a fan of Ghostbusters or Star Wars or Star Trek or Transformers these days.

Maybe it's because I associate fake smiles with the character of the Joker, but anytime I'm submitted to the fake politeness put on by frustrated retail workers who are forced to do so just to earn their $7.50 an hour, I just wanna beat them up and throw them into an easily escapable mental asylum. Unfortunately, that's life. You either die wearing your heart on your sleeve or you fake politeness long enough to see yourself become the manager.

Oh, Ford. What have you gone and done this time? You've taken an American icon and turned it into a soccer dad. No longer does Geoff have to have a mid-life crisis and buy a gas-guzzling V8-powered Mustang GT, now he can have his cake and eat it too with the all-electric Mach-E. He can fit a cooler of gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free pre-approved snacks in his little front trunk AND have all the room for Michael's friends from soccer practice. All while he still is "technically" a Mustang owner. Thanks, Ford. No he can go blow his brains out in peace knowing his family will have a reduced carbon footprint!

All this and more on our THREE YEAR ANNIVERSARY episode! Thanks for all the support you've shown us through the years, and here's to as many more as we can dig out of our withering souls! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON, NEWPROJECT2 or by BUYING A SHIRT!