Episode 93 - Jacked Sam Neil

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Hey-a! Welcome to Authentic San Hereswhatidontgets! De only place in town to get an authentic New York slice! The crust? Burnt. The sauce? Canned. The Cheese? Fuggedaboutit! It's only made from the freshest curd of the most freshest milk we could find. Your mother's! You get two choices. A plain pie. Or pepperoni. And we make that in-house! Dey call dat artisinal! Ain't no pork or beef in it. No, we use what the city gives us. That's right we use the most plentiful meat around. Good 'ol New York Strip straight from Master Splinter hisself. And if you whine enough we might throw one of these on there too:
Autoplay Ads
The Mail
Leaving the Ecosystem
Working Holidays Ads.

They're everywhere. We flew right past They Live and straight into marketing heaven. Unfortunately, if you want your free services to stay free, you've got to deal with them. You put an unobtrusive static banner ad from a reputable source at the top and bottom of your page? You got yourself a deal. I can live with that. But when you use ads from these places that throw their revenue right back into ads that bypass being blocked and hijack PCs and phones with ransomware? Buddy, I came here to block ads and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

Before the 1990's I guess the mail system seemed like crazy future technology. You mean I can write someone a letter and they'll get it in just a few days? I can send in an order from a catalog and it'll be here in only 6-8 weeks? Oh boy! Well, the future is NOW, OLD MAN and the future rocks because everything is near instant, or at least click and forget. No need for the weird quasi-governmental structure that these days deals out more coupons and spam than hand-written letters and heartfelt presents. Maybe the dogs have been right all along.

Ease of use, integration, things you didn't even know you needed! That's how they getcha. Google, Apple, and more are drug kingpins and the first hit is free. They get you hooked to their own personal blend, and have you begging for more even as they water it down. Next thing you know you're lying in the back of a squad car with some guy's baby batter dried to your shirt, ready to squeal on your boy Ricardo just to get by on probation. Now you're in WitSec with a new name in some backwoods town. Good going, Tim.

Holidays! A time to relax with some good food and spend time with family. Take the dog for a walk, spend all day cooking, watch a good movie, don't even think about work. Hell, work's not even open today! Wait, it is? And there's doubletime pay? Peace out bitches, save me a plate. It's the day we spend honoring those who brought us weekly working hour limits? Let's toast to that by making hella scrilla. Who'dathunk it, turns out holiday pay is the best part of the holidays! All this plus more on this week's episode! Voicemails! News! Movies! Shoddily constructed American-made products! We've got it all! And if you're dying for even more, become a PATRON or join us at our DISCORD!