Episode 87 - Dinged Cars

And over here we have our new HWIDG model for 2018. It comes with a turbo boost for extended rage sessions, very nice to have. It seats two comfortably, but you can squeeze a third person on it, go ahead and hop on, try it out. You feel that? Those are heated seats. Now that’s an optional feature, it’ll run you about $500 extra, but I can get it for you for about $475, what a deal! Now, minisodes and do-gets are extra and those go up depending on what you want. Wait! Come back! I didn’t tell you about the free issues!
* Funerals
* Being Offended Online
* Mattress Sales
* 'Passing the Buck' Signs

Funerals. Why they gotta harsh my mellow all the time brah? Why can’t we just have a party, dude? Celebrate their life, maaaan. Don’t get all weepy and Jesus-y on me, old-timer. Cut me some kickin’ tunes, a couple of Tecate Micheladas, and maybe a bonfire or three, broseph. Let’s all load up on a buggy, head out to the coast and shred some gnar-gnar on their behalf, stokemeister! Black is out, Solo Jazz paterns and Stussy shorts are in, bruddah!

If you don’t like something, you don’t have to see it (except for ads). That’s the beauty of the internet! It’s customizable like almost nothing else. So, getting up in arms about someone you don’t like is inexcusable. You have the power to block. You have the power to mute. You have the power to walk away completely. Someone calls you an idiot? Screw you for getting them fired. Don’t be that person. Be Batman. Be the best Batman you can be.

Sleep is good. We’ll be the first people to tell you how good sleep is, believe us. But it’s not $2,500 good. Not a lot of things are. Throw in another $1000 for a motorized lift and some sheets and baby, you’ve got an expensive-as-hell stew going. I’d much rather have some pretty good sleep for 1/10th of that cost and be able to switch to a new bed every couple of years. If your bed needs to be plugged in and download updates, chances are you paid too much for it.

Don’t you hate it when you’re driving down the road at night, somewhere outside the city, and you make a turn and right there in all of it’s canary-yellow glory is a sign warning you about crossing deer? Well, “Management is not responsible for lost or stolen items” signs are even worse. Welcome to the corporate world of “the customer is always right, unless they might sue”. It’s like working with the mafia, “I didn’t see nuthin’”. "But there’s a camera right there!” “It’s not plugged in.” “I just saw it move!” “No you didn’t.” Infuriating. Remember kids, like Uncle Ben said, "with great sales, comes no responsibility”.

All this and more on this week’s episode, including voicemails, the reveal of next month’s movie commentary, and a new addition to the studio! Don’t forget to join the Discord and Patreon if you haven’t already!