This is it! A milestone in the world of podcasting, Here’s What I Don’t Get is proud to be the first ever podcast to reach 108 episodes! A feat only possible due to the strong bonds of friendship and anger that unite us. Unfortunately, we must also announce that due to a personal schism between Tab and Tim, Tab will be stepping down and Tim will be retooling the podcast as an actual play Shadowrun podcast. So get your leather jacket, your cyber-katana, and roll an Elf Decker and get ready to jack into a Megacorp and shut it down from the inside with your crew:
* Greedy Nintendo
* Boob Drop GIFs That Are Too Slow
* A Lack of Curiosity
Nintendo, the bastion of family friendly gaming! The pinnacle of gamer nostalgia! The harbinger of the accessory nickel-and-dime future? That’s right! Because a set of Joy-Cons for the Switch will run you (corrected price adjusted from recording) SEVENTY NINE AMERICAN DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE COPPER PIECES. And if the overcharge wasn’t enough? They can’t even be assed to throw in the cheap plastic shell that turns them into a semblance of an actual controller. I’m not asking for the fancy charging one, either. Just the lump of plastic. You know, the one that comes with the system, but whose only purpose is for the controllers themselves? Yeah. Oh, and throw in a damn charger for the 3DS while you’re at it. It might be more understandable if it was USB, but its NOT. Jackholes.
Every great piece of media follows a very simple rule. Grab their attention immediately. You get them at the beginning, and then you’ve got them in the palm of your hand. It’s much harder to slowly and agonizingly pull them limply along while they’re expecting to be dazzled from the beginning. Enter the GIF. The internet’s moving image file. A fast way to quickly communicate complex emotions and shared cultural touchstones. The GIF should be the epitome of attention grabbing! You don’t watch whole videos or movies through GIFs, you cut out all the fat and gristle to leave the juicy nugget of steak. And what are half of the GIFs on the internet used for? Pornography, that’s right. They’re SUPPOSED to get you right to where you wanna be if you know what I mean. So why would you use them to blue ball your viewers? Get to the good stuff. Pronto. I’ve got to be back in my office in 2 minutes.
Everyone knows “the questions” you ask when meeting new people. Where are you from? What do you do? Do you have any siblings? What are your hobbies? Etcetera, etcetera. You exchange these pleasantries, and in most cases you probably won’t see them again, but on the off chance you do, you’ve got something to talk about next time. But some people, they’re not question askers. It’s like they’re only programmed to answer them. They go on and on about themelves, whereas a normal, well adjusted adult knows the song and dance you’re supposed to play. Imagine it’s an actual dance floor. Most people get up there and dance with everyone else. Others? Well they pound a bottle of JD and shove their way to the center and proceed to projectile vomit all over the floor.
All this and more on this week’s gargantuan, milestone episode! Voicemails, wacky news, and more! As always, if you would like to support us you can do that on PATREON, or come join us on DISCORD and hang out!