Episode 33 - Lower Education

The nightmare is over again (for a while at least) and Tab is back in North Carolina!  Once again in-studio, and before an audience of live streamers, we slam the throttle into high gear when we bring in the following issues:

- College
- Password Glitches
- Textbooks
- Ecosexuals

You've heard it since before you were born (because they whispered it to you while you were still in your mother's womb).  You've heard it from nearly everyone, because it's ubiquitous . . . Go to college.  But why?  That's what Tab would like to know.  There's a rising tide of common sense and realization that maybe the modern version of college is just a ponzi scheme and has nothing to do with improving your actual future.  You see, back in the days of yore, going to college had a very specific purpose, and that purpose was to give you the knowledge you need to go into a specific field of expertise and succeed.  You'd go to college to learn a trade of some kind.  Maybe law, maybe medicine, maybe finance, but you'd come away from the experience having exchanged your time and money for something of value: knowledge.  Maybe, if you were lucky, even wisdom.  But today colleges offer one and only one course: Advanced Cuckoldry.  I would have said Cuckoldry 101, but you're taught that in elementary school, these days, so that by the time you reach college, your skills of being a useful idiot are so advanced, you could go back in time and ruin history by teaching cuck-fu to the most important historical figures and altering the timeline, ultimately performing the ultimate self-cuckmate by preventing your own existence.  But then you won't have existed to become a cuck and go back in time in the first place, so history will switch back in a paradox of cuckoldry where you both do and do not exist simultaneously; Schrodinger's Cuck.  But, at least you won't have to worry about logging in to anything . . .

It's happened to us all; you're attempting to access some quasi-vital thing in your life, be it e-mail, facebook, or just your Xbox, and you have to enter your password.  No problem.  You haven't changed the password in months, so you fingers glide over the keyboard with the skill, ease and precision that only comes through muscle memory and BAM! you hit that enter key, only to have your password spat back in your face.  "Nope.  Sorry.  That's not right.  Do it again."  So, confused but aware that sometimes even the best of us can fat-finger a key on occasion, you back up and punt.  Nope.  Still not right.  So, this time, you take extra time, ensuring that you're hitting only the correct keys.  Still no.  Your account is locked up tighter than a Puritan vagina.  So now you start to question whether or not you've changed your password, or if maybe your account has been hacked, or if you're just losing your mind.  So it all ends up coming to the last resort: the password reset.  But now your well-rehearsed muscle memory is wasted.  That password will no longer exist; it went right into the same oblivion as your patience.  Sometimes it's better to just walk away for a bit and come back later.  Go calm down by doing something constructive like taking a walk, watching tv, or reading a book.  Of course, some books will only lead to more frustration . . .

Gamestop is notorious among gamers for buying a used game from a customer for a pittance and putting it right back on the shelf an just under full price, but they didn't invent that business model.  No, that honor goes to your college book store.  I remember my college days when you'd go to the book store and pay well over $100 for each of the eight textbooks I'd need for that semester, and that was for used copies.  I'd hate to know how much they cost now.  But, in a day and age where literally all of human knowledge is available at our fingertips, thanks to the internet, what good is a textbook?  If your professor is so smart, why can't he or she just straight up explain the facts to you, or demonstrate them somehow, and leave the Big Textbook industry out of it?  Because it's those same professors who are writing the books, and those greedy jerks aren't going to let a second revenue stream just pass them by.  But what happens when you refuse to buy the book and just show up to class, armed with the internet and a sassy attitude?  Can you autodidact?  Can you out-teach the teacher; out-profess the professor?  If you could find a way to undercut the teacher by being a tutor, could you out-sell the snake-oil salesman?  Could you out-cuck them Cuckster?  That's the beauty of the free market.  Except for the inherent deviancy of creepy college professors.  And speaking of creepy deviancy . . .

I remember back in the 90's when environmentalism was being crammed down the throats of children across America, sold to us by shows like Captain Planet, but now it seems that they're using sex to sell environmentalism, so prepare to have something completely different shoved down your throat.  A penis.  Because the latest and greatest trend in idiotic leftist non-sequiturs is Eco Sexuals.  What are they?  Well, as the root words suggest, they are people who literally (not figuratively) try to have sex with the environment.  Women smearing mud in their vaginas and grinding on trees and rocks.  Guys (I assume) who see that knothole in a tree and think "Oh baby . . .".  I wonder how long it'll be before I see the inevitable image of a woman (or man) with tree sap dripping down their face like a money shot?  The sad part about that last statement is, as silly and deranged as it is, you KNOW for a FACT that it's coming.  But, when you're desperate and wierd enough to try to attain sexual gratification from tree bark, maybe it's just a relief that anything at all is coming, because you definitely won't be.
We revisit a voicemail from last week, and Sage drops by with an issue of his own.  What doesn't he get?  You'll have to listen to this week's episode to find out!