Bonus Episode 36 - Dunko Plops

Available now for all $5 Patrons!

Welcome back Patrons to this month's sniffled bonus episode. This month we're having an allergic reaction to these great pleasures.

- Panel Shows
- Pumpkin Carving
- Critical Role
- Rockets

Not a comic con panel which is the lamest thing on planet earth. No a British Panel show, maybe the apex of live improv comedy and culture on display in 2019. Doesn't work here in America though, we're too interested in the Bachelorette, fuckin degens.

It's October and you know what that means, spooky pumpkins. What s the spookiest of pumpkin? One that has been chopped up by a would be serial killer and cut into pieces to look like your favorite Universal Movie monster. Here's a tease for one of Next Month's issues, rotting pumpkins.

I don't know anything about Critical Role, but it's nerd shit and Tim likes it. I roll 1 million d 1 million, and that makes me a winner.

You got a tiny dick? Don't matter, because we got a big fuckin rocket you can ride into space, and another one you can shoot at your enemies, and yet another one you can just explode because it looks fun. Rockets are the best.

Thank you patrons for supporting us this month. Don't forget to go vote for this month's movie commentary! 

Bonus Episode 35 - Accidental Discharge

Available now for all $5 Patrons!

It's September, Green Day is asleep. Earth, Wind, and Fire is getting ready for the party of the year for the end of fall. Spooky Skeletons are rattling around, college girls are prepping their yoga pants and boots, and we're in the last days without pumpkin spice. But the best part is here, Here's What I Do Get, and when we don't fuck up the intro we're talking about this;

Spare Parts
Modding
Gradualism
Bingeing

It's more than just an insult it's a way of life. You can't buy them anymore, your stuff is broke and you cannot fix it, just buy a new one. There's something satisfying though, taking your broken thing apart transplanting a new piece into the body of your old reliable pal. Then breathing new life into it again, and continuing like nothing went wrong. If only we didn't live in this disposable world.

Want Tim to have big tits in this episode? There's a Mod for that. Tired of all the movie talk? There's a mod for that. New intro, replace hosts, kill children? There's a mod for that. Modding is the best way to add depth to a game that will keep you coming back for more. Modding allows you the player to make exactly the game you want to invest time in, and that's the most important resource you have.

We're always talking about the life we want to lead when we win the lottery but why not start now. Build things a little bit at a time and before long you'll be living your best life #blessed. Too often I think we're paralyzed by the want to do things the biggest and best we can the first time instead of just trying it a little bit. We can't all free climb El Capitan on the first try, you've gotta start in the rock climbing gym, or just getting up from the toilet on Sunday mornings. You can do it!

There are 542 episodes on the patreon feed. That's over 45 days of content if you just put it on and started listening. What better time to start from the very beginning and binge this great great great show. Instead of waiting a week between shows, that blows.

Well that's what we've got this month, thank you the fans for supporting the show. Be sure to VOTE FOR OCTOBER'S MOVIE COMMENTARY, and if you are feeling feisty give us a call on the voicemail at 704-750-9434

Bonus Episode 34 - Who is Your Daddy?

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Available now for all $5 Patrons!

It's mid-month and that means it's time for another laid back non-angry episode of Here's What I  Do Get. This month we're hitting pause, cracking a beer on the roof, kicking back, and starting a new game with,

- Recliners
- Taking a Break
- Character Creators
- Roof Top Bars

The throne of the house, sometime between College and Death a man gets a recliner, and it's his. A lot of people are over and Dad isn't home, well don't sit in that seat because it's his. I remember after my Grandfather died his Recliner wasn't moved, it just stayed there completely unused, why? Because it was his, and no one can fill that seat.

We all run hot sometimes, and when things get to be too much it's always good to take a break. Sanding a project in the heat? Why not take a break? Co-worker driving you nuts? Take a break. Not able to solve what should be a simple problem? Take a break. It's the universal solution, and it makes that comeback even better.

What's the best kind of game? Any game where you have total control over the look of your character. It's one of the few things fun about sports games. Character creators make playing a game more personal, sure we all love being Batman, but at the end of the day that's just Batman. What I really love is playing as a naked old man Low Balce shooting fire and getting quickly murdered.

Finally I have to make a but of a retraction this month. While I still hate eating outside, I do love drinking on rooftops. A slew of Rooftop bars have opened in the Tulsa area recently and each one is better than the last. Something about the breeze, the people watching, and the cute bartenders creates the perfect storm of relaxation and enjoyment. The only thing it is missing is a good recliner to sit in.

Well that's it for this month, be sure to go vote for next Month's movie commentary, even if you aren't a $10 patron right now.

Bonus Episode 33 - Learning is Power!

Available now for all $5 Patrons!

In a world filled with podcasts that focus only on bitching and moaning a bonus episode stands alone, Here's What I Do Get. With their super human hearts these two men talk about their feelings in a way that is approachable and not unmanly, listen as they diatribe about:

- Bot Accounts
- Watches
- Learning
- School House Rock

In the slog of terrible bot accounts there are a few that rise above and deliver actual humor. TMNT Wikipedia Pages, Dime Store Novels, or Dick Out of Context. These proud few don't suck and you actually enjoy seeing them from time to time. Too bad all bot accounts can't be wholesome and fun and not get dragged into the slog of politics.

A watch is a completely superfluous piece of technology in this day and age. With smart watches, computerized everything, and your phone constantly telling you where you need to be and when. Yet a watch is a wonder of design, it recalls a time where craftsman ship mattered and design was important. Now everything a rectangle and does 400 things poorly, hurray progress.

We all loved learning, at one point between crying because your Mom left you behind, and the existential dread that you were going to do exactly the same thing you did the day before that, and the day after, and so on, we were excited to go to school and learn. That's why we all have a bunch of useless trivia facts stored in our brain, and can't do compound interest in our heads. We enjoy getting a new factoid, but by the time they teach you the useful stuff in school, you're brain is fried and you're more concerned about the cute girl you're sitting behind.

School House Rock is about a generation early for most of us, but inevitably one day in elementary school our teacher rolled out that AV cart for a movie day and what did she pop in? Multiplication Rock, My Hero Zero, 3 is the Magic Number, Ready or Not, Here I Come, Little Twelvetoes, way better than doing real math. True story 90% of what I know about base 12 comes from the song Twelvetoes. They were great simple learning devices that we've just abandoned in favor of Sponge Bob Square Pants.

That's in for this month, thank you all of our patrons. Be sure to join the DISCORD, and check out the store to BUY A SHIRT. Not to mention VOTING for August 1st Movie Commentary.

Bonus Episode 32 - Take Two

Available now to all $5 Patrons!

Welcome back HWIDG supporters, and to the pirates, I hope someone bites off your privates. This month we're pulling a Scruff McGruff and taking a big ol' bite out of:

- E3
- Grilling
- 4K
- Charting the Journey

Every year we get new video games, and the best time to find out about it? E3. This year was pretty lame, but no doubt the ones in the future will be great and the ones in the past have been great too. It's a chance to get your first glimpse of the games of tomorrow, be it a new franchise, and old favorite, or what's best, some new hardware that will really show the pores of Keanu.

What's the sound of summer? That sizzle of meat cooking on good clean burning propane. What's not to love about grilling, there's fire, beer, meat. What more does civilization need? A grill is what separates a man from a boy, everyone remembers their first grill. Even if you're a degenerate charcoal user you're part of a rich history of cooking food with slightly controlled fire.

Happy times are here again we've got an even higher definition of video. 4K is it. We've done it, we now have perfect picture. Is it going to stop? Of course not, but while we take a break on the everest of media playback we've hit a pretty good base camp. 4K gives you stunning visuals in a medium that compared to the last great step forward, doesn't cost a lot. I got a 55 inch 4K tv for $340. That's insane. When flat panels first came out and we were trying to figure out the difference between 1080i and 1080p TVs were in the thousands of dollars. Now you can get one for less than a new set of tires.

It's been a long road, getting from there to here, it's been a long time, but my time is finally here. And I will see my dream come alive at last, and I will touch the sky. These fateful words opened the worst series of Star Trek before Discovery and they were showcased with a montage of achievements in flight. Now I didn't travel to space but I have taken a journey and sometimes it's nice to be able to tangibly see what lay behind you. Then throw it away because HWIDG doesn't advocate hoarding.

Well that's it for this second take of an episode, thank you for supporting the show this month. Come chat in the discord or buy a shirt and show how much you love HWIDG.

Bonus Episode 31 - Finish Him!

Available now for all $5 Patrons!

Welcome back HWIDG Patrons to this month's bonus episode. We just finished seeing John Wick 3 and it's great. After we finish adoring all things Keanu Reeves we're discussing these great pleasures.

Going Cold Turkey
Working with Your Hands
Mortal Kombat
Heads Up Displays

Being a quitter, some folks need to ween themselves off an addiction but not you. No you're going COLD TURKEY. That's right you're dropping it like it's 2013 and JJ Abrams just got announced as the new director of Star Wars, no questions asked.

In this world of computers, robots, and same day online shipping it's nice to change gears now and again and make something yourself. Not to brag, but I took a piece of scrap wood and a crude drawing and made a planter. I'm a shit carpenter, but man does it feel good to do something for yourself.

A franchise that has for better or worse changed the face of gaming time and again. Mortal Kombat, you know the song. Mortal Kombat is one of the single most enduring franchises to still be playable today, and the best part is you can still go back and play those old versions and it still feels satisfying to banish Shao Khan to the shadow realm, or phantom zone, or whatever the fuck it is. Look all I know about Mortal Kombat is that I am bad at it, and the bridge level with the pungee pit.

You know what would make this episode better? A heads up display showing exactly how many seconds you had left to listen. Perhaps directions to where you are headed. What about a reading of the promo code mentioned in this show with a countdown for how long you have left to use it? YouDon’tGetAPromoCodeIt’sTooLate and it's 22 days, get on it.

Plus some John Wick 3 talk and Ronnie suffers a fatality. Thanks for supporting the show this month, and go get those shirts!

Don't forget to vote for Next Month's Movie Commentary 

Bonus Episode 30 - 18 Wheels of Fury

Available now to all $5 Patrons!

Breaker Three Oh, Breaker Three Oh, This is the Madcuck out there on the highways haulin' a load of do gets to some degens upcountry. So buckle up your back door, grab a CB, get that manifest out because we're searching cabs for these important issues.

Pit Stops
Tailored Fit
Hotel Breakfasts
Truckers

Gas getting low, bladder getting full, stomach starting to growl, seeing smoke dogs? There is only one solution. A pit stop. Find the blue sign that will tell you how far off the interstate you need to go, stretch all the way out, and get some more supplies for the next leg of the run. Pit stops aren't just for function, maybe you see a fun building or a sign for wall drug, what's going on in Uranus? Why does this place look like a UFO? There's only one way to find out, and it's pit stop time.

This show is hosted by mutants, as evidenced by the fact that apparently none of us can just buy clothes that fit. So when you get that piece of custom made clothing that just fits, it's a life changing event. No need to roll your sleeves, or leave the top button un done. We're in tailored fit mode.

Ahh. All the " euro-pine" countries lay before me. Where should I fly to first? Ahh. The pit of the doughnut. Mm, thank you, turkey. Mm, buckle up. Let's see where we shall go next. Ah, the danish! Clearly from brussels. Mm, mm! Mm! Hello, greece, where the yogurt flows like water. Mm, yes, like go-gurt, but to stay. Mm, so good! Mm, pulling into spain. Mm! Baked to perfection. Can you believe it? It all comes with the room! Mm! Mm, mm! Yes! Mm! I love being incontinent! I love being incontinent! A delight to the senses, isn't it, my friend? Isn't it? Yes! I'll have what i'm having!

Chances are if you're listening to this a trucker has affected your life some way today. Trucks are the life blood of commerce and people don't appreciate them. They're like garbage men, except in reverse, they're bringing shit to you so you can throw it away later. HWIDG would like to thank the truckers of America for dragging our shit from here to there.

All that and we talk about Crew-Neck vs. V-Neck, voting for May's movie commentary, and Tim plays some new video games.


Bonus Episode 29 - Out of the Comfort Zone

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Available now for all $5 Patrons!

Life is filled with every day misfortunes but this time we're not talking about that, we're talking about what's best in life, and following Crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women, are these big do gets.

Trailers
Trying New Things
My Jam
Comeuppances

Coming soon to theaters, a trailer is a story it's not the story of the movie, it's a story about why you should dump $10 for a ticket to see the real story. Trailers are the carnival barkers of the modern world, a good trailer can make a terrible movie must see, and a bad trailer can make a movie not worth your time.

We're all in our comfort zone, and that's great, but sometimes you have to step out and try something new. When you do you can be proud of yourself, you've grown as a person even if you don't like it now you know for sure. Wanna know what? I don't know who called it the comfort zone, but I'm pretty sure they called it that 'cause everything inside that zone's good and comfy.

Whoa whoa whoa, turn it up that's My Jam. We've all said it, and we've all got it. Music is in our blood and no matter what genre you've got something that moves you. It feels good to listen to our jams. Don't let anyone shame you if yours is Feel Like a Woman, Tim.

Nothing feels better than seeing a piece of shit get his comeuppance. That guy who cut you off getting ticketed down the road. The guy who kidnapped your wife getting crushed by his own semi. The team that killed your friends getting thrown out of a helicopter. It's satisfying to see someone get the harvest that they've sown, even if it isn't by your own hand.

And be sure to go vote for April's Movie Commentary! 

Bonus Episode 28 - Ultra Rare Victory

Available now for all $5 Patrons!

Hello Patrons and welcome to this bonus Episode. This Month we're talking about these pleasures!

Winning
Fog
Loot
Cruising

What's best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women! Winning, it's what we are biologically driven to do, be a winner. All those people that say they don't care about winning... they are liars.

Better than winning, the Haze all around you that obscures distant objects and makes light seem to have physical form. Fog is the best kind of weather, it's the best atmospheric effect, and it's the best way to make up for your short render distances, I mean.

What better way to make up for that super short render distance than with some free stuff. Loot you want it, you need it, it's the dopamine hit that keeps you playing our game vs. the competitor and makes sure you'll be stealing Mom's credit card to keep paying.

But when the money runs out, there is only one thing to do. Steal Mom's car and go cruising, get away for a bit. Just drive slow and take a look around the world for a time, but do it quick because she definitely reported you for Grand Theft.

Well that's it for this month. Thanks for supporting the show! Don't forget to vote on this month's movie commentary. 

Bonus Episode 27 - Diversity Hire

Available now for all $5 Patrons!

It's that time of the month again, time to take your state mandated anti-masculinity pills and fluff those tits boys. Otherwise you might get a case of the boners and boy would that be embarrassing for everyone. While your hormones even out take some time and think about all the ways you've disappointed your parents with these sins of the past.

Diversity
Cookie Dough
Being the Dumb One
Westerns

Being different was considered by the Elder Race of Man to be a good and healthy part of society. They thought that having many people with different strengths and weaknesses was a path to greater societal strength. As history has taught us though, it is better to be the same, which is why the divine scholars have your bodies surgically modified from a young age to make everyone the same!

Diabetes, Heart Disease, and Salmonella, are all sins of the past you can see in the museum of socio-economic history in San Angeles. There you will find these terrible diseases were eradicated in one move by simply outlawing cookie dough! Our ancestors loved cookies so much that they would eat the uncooked cookie youngling's direct from the egg sack found in the cookie's birthing home, the freezer section of walmart. What better way to enjoy history than with a super fun Bland and Nutritious bar from Taco Bell!!

A tragic story from history is that of Ouzounian the Cuckold. A man who was so stupid that he destroyed his own career and those of his former friends. Following his mental collapse in 2019 God Emperor Trump made it illegal to be stupid, thus creating the Department of Smoothbrain Extermination. This department created new ways to educate the populace and now we are all geniuses in our own minds! No longer are we challenged by the more coherent thoughts of others.

The barbarism of the 20th century is never more evident in their glorification of the violence of the 19th century. The barbarism and simplistic story telling while captivating and visually stunning is not a thing we allow in this enlightened future. The museums of Western History were all bombed in the great war of 2024 to show that we have risen above the barbarism of shooting hunks of metal into one another over petty differences, and now shoot mother fuckin lasers!

We hope your conditioning is returning to normal and any masculine urges you may have felt have past. We'll see you next month when you have to penis cut off and reattached just above your anus for proper self fornication.

Bonus Episode 26 - Magically Deaf

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Available now for $5 Patrons!

Welcome HWIDG fans to December's extra merry bonus episode. We've got a lot to be thankful for this year, and you're gonna hear about it! This month we're sitting around the fire and talking about these pleasures.

- Magic
- Earplugs
- Deadcells
- Pepto

Spoiler Alert: Tim has still not taken these damn Magic Cards.

Magic, Earplugs, Deadcells, Pepto

Bonus Episode 25 - November

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Available now for all $5 Patrons!

Sorry this one is late folks, but a big snowstorm came through and delayed all the flights. This bonus episode had to stay at a very mediocre La Quinta Inn for a few days until another flight came through. At least the breakfasts were continental. Anyways, here it is, and here’s what we discuss:

* Snow
* Pranks
* Boxing Movies
* Getting A New One

As always, thanks for supporting the show! We’ll see you next month with another hot batch of Do Gets!

Bonus Episode 24 - Apparently!

Available now for all $5 Patrons

It's time to get spooky with this month's bonus episode filled with do gets! This month we talk about what is/isn't a soup, our experiences with haunted houses, weird comic book multiverses, and shorthand communication. As always, thanks to YOU our lovely patrons for supporting the show, and we'll see you next month for another round of do gets.
* Soup
* Haunted Houses
* Comic Book Alternate Universes
* Shorthand

Bonus Episode 23 - Haunted Telephone

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Available to all $5 Patrons now!

Hey there, folks! For your monthly bonus episode we talk about things we remember! Like, the month of September. Despite what Earth Wind & Fire told you, it’s been very cloudy here. Join us as we get into why we love:  

* Cars (aka Owen Wilson’s drug money)
* Urban Exploring (aka breaking and entering)
* Flashlights (aka Torches, for you wierdos)
* Good Packaging (Big, toight packages)

Catch us next month for another round of Do Gets, and as always thank you for your patronage! Listen to this one on the 21st for maximum effect! 

Bonus Episode 22 - Rock and Roll D.I.Y.

Available Now! To all $5 Patrons at www.Patreon.com/HWIDG 

It’s that time of year again. Back to school! As you either whisk your little ones away or move your stuff into your dorm, remember to take some time for the things you love! Don’t worry, that essay can write itself the night before it’s due. How about you listen to this month’s Bonus Episode instead and get some ideas on how to wind down after a cram session. This month’s do-gets include:

- Cold Drink on a Hot Day
- Fixing it Yourself
- Rock Band
- Bitching

Literally nothing is more refreshing than an ice-cold drink when you’re hot. Name one thing more refreshing. I dare you. You can’t. Whether it’s a glass of sugary-sweet lemonade, a fizzy pop, or even just a nice chilled glass of water, nothing feels better. Been working out? Cranking them lifts? BAM! Cold glass of water. Maybe you’ve been mowing your front lawn and trimming trees? BAM! Lemonade cures all. Maybe it’s just a hot day, and you’ve been out riding your bike all over town with your buddies. BAM! Grab a nice root beer from the Stop-n-Go, but STEAL IT THAT MAKES IT FEEL EVEN BETTER.

Sometimes, you’re way in over you head. You’re not gonna be able to un-total a car. But for those smaller problems, the ones that others might immediately go to a specialist for? Well, my friends we’re here to tell you to fix it yourself. It’s a wondrous sense of accomplishment that comes along with it. Researching, gathering your tools, and fixing it step by step makes you feel like a productive member of society. You really out-did yourself this time. Go you.

Thank you Harmonix. You music game gods that gave us this beauty of a rock n’ roll simulation. It’s the closest you can get without actually learning an instrument to being in a band. It’s the best parts of karaoke, Guitar Hero, and party games all put together in a toight package like Robert Plant. It’s so much fun that when Tab recently lost his 8/9 year old save game, he didn’t say “screw this, I’m done”. He just started over again. And let me tell you folks, that is an amazing feat, and a very telling sign.

Getting something off your chest. Everyone’s gotta do it. Whether it’s work bringing you down, this mixed-up freaky world of ours, or you spilled some ketchup on your shirt, you can’t keep it bottled up inside. That’s how people go crazy. Think about it like an engine. You’re building up all this heat and nasty gunk inside, you’ve got an exhaust for a reason. Use it. Other wise it’ll all end up in your head and you’ll look like someone from Scanners by the end of the week. We don’t want that, you don’t want that.  (But if that does happen, film it for posterity. Exploding heads are always cool.)

As always, a big thanks to you Patrons for supporting the show. Your money is being put to good use on plenty of cold drinks and Rock Band DLC.

Bonus Episode 21 - The Great Chili Debate

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

This month we've got these exciting do gets!

- Salsa
- Chili
- 40 Hours
- Rain

Quickly becoming the leading condiment on Earth Salsa is like ketchup, but for Mexican food, and has many different flavors. I guarantee out there somewhere is a Salsa for you. I think I am going to create an online dating website for Salsa, then one for Whiskey.

Hotly contested second Do Get this month. Chili, one host loves it, and one host hates it. Is this the end of HWIDG?

Bouncing off an issue in episode 85, 40 hours? Is it an issue or a Do Get? Listen to both episodes and you decide, or is Tab just really trying to hammer home that he has a job and that's why he stopped doing Madcucks. I mean he totally isn't going bald and blocking people because he's been infected.

Our final do get this month is Rain. Where would we be without the magical water falling from the sky? We'd be dead. So put on your dancing shoes and summon some rain clouds while you're listening to this great episode.

As always thank you so much to our patreon supporters, be sure to check out the Discord if you haven't already. Comment below on which side of the Chili Debate you fall.

Bonus Episode 19 - Water Heater Hacks

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

The heat is on, folks. On the stove, in the sky, oppressing the ones you love with it's sweltering radiance. Here at Here's What I Don't Get, we're trying to keep cool by any means necessary, cold showers, popsicles, the works. We find what works best is sticking the following do gets in the freezer for about 15 minutes:

- Hot Water
- Cooking Competition shows
- Bullying
- Getting rid of things

Due to the amount of rage Tab has to deal with, he often comes home from a long day of work covered in the blood of various people. A mildly warm shower won't take care of that. No, you need a black market shower head built for elephants, and a hacked water heater. The steam opens up your pores, you know.

Chopped, Cutthroat Kitchen, Top Chef, MasterChef, Tim loves 'em all. Can't get enough. Seriously. And Tab has a problem with that. High cuisine and fine dining are a whole other world it seems. Prepare yourselves for a four course meal in what may be the most controversial do get yet.

Bullying. A little goes a long way. No one should be getting pounded in the face for wearing glasses, but just like in exercise where you break down those muscles and they grow back stronger, a little bullying and standing up to it prepares you for life. Unfortunately, zero tolerance policies these days let the kids know that defending yourself is wrong. Sounds to me like the school administrators need a bit of bullying themselves.

Minimalism, it's all the rage these days. Living minimally means getting rid of those superfluous things that take up all that room. Burn them if you have to. Just get rid of them. With flames. Dancing against the night sky. The ashes land on your tongue. They taste sweetly of bitterness. The fire is in us all. Release it.

Thanks for supporting the podcast folks, we couldn't do it without you! I mean, we could, but it wouldn't be as fun. Don't forget to Vote on Next Month's Commentary 

Bonus Episode 18 - Special Delivery

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

It’s that time of the month again. Time to crank up the tunes and put on your dancing shoes, because Here’s What I DO Get is finally here. Take our hand and let us lead you to the dance floor and boogie down, just don’t step on our shoes as we dance to the sweet sounds of:

-Not Being the New Guy
-The Circus
-Coheed and Cambria
-Socks

Being the new person anywhere tends to suck, work, school, you name it. It’s awkward, you stand out, and people call you “New Kid” instead of your actual name. So, as soon as someone takes your place, there’s a big wave of relief that washes over you. But on the other hand, you no longer have that extra shield to save you from mistakes. Before you know it, you’re calling them “new guy” too.

You wanna get pumped to go to the circus? Two words: Sabre Dance. It’s high flying danger, jaunty comedy, and goddamn lions jumping through goddamn flaming hoops, what else could you want?! You don’t want to see a Mad Max style motorcycle stunt called THE GLOBE OF DEATH? What’s wrong with you?

Look, Tim’s into some weird stuff, alright? So it’s no surprise that his favorite band is an emo/prog/punk/rock band that sings about almost-human robots with gun arms and telekinetic powers, and spaceship battles, and poisoning your children, and viruses that can blow up galaxies, and blue-skinned killer angel ladies, and that’s just the FIRST album! He likes them a lot, and he’ll talk his head off to you about them, but he won’t be pushy about it.

Socks! They’re shoes without the hassle of laces, stretchy enough to cover holiday bloating, cheap enough to have lots of, and diverse enough to have whatever the hell you want printed on them. Tab’s a pretty straightforward all black socks kinda guy, but Tim’s got all kinds of colored and patterned socks. 

All this, plus we talk about the ethical quandaries of cheating in school, and we open our first viewer mailbag! As always thanks for supporting the show, remember to vote for next month’s movie commentary, and we’ll see you next time.

Bonus Episode 17 - Black Panther for HWIDG Fans

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Available now for all $5 Patrons

Welcome back patrons to another round up of all those things we DO get this month. This time we're discussing these very important issues.

- A Full 8 Hours
- Peanut Butter
- Hats
- Halloween

Every 10 minutes some one participates in the sleep olympics, you know what I am talking about. "Oh last night I only slept 3 hours." "That's nothing, I only slept 2 hours, 3 days ago." "OH YEAH, Well I haven't slept since I was a child." At the end of the day the winner is still the biggest loser, because you and me, we planned our lives properly and got that sweet sweet 8 hours last night, and every night. The best part of waking up, is realizing it's before your alarm and you can go back to sleep.

The next best part of waking up is peanut butter, not just for tricking your dog into licking your balls. Peanut Butter is the perfect combo of protein and sugar. You can use it for a healthy lunch, and then for desert add a pound of sugar and bake for 20 - 25 minutes into a Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookie. Who was there for you when your lunch account ran out for one fucking day, and god forbid the lunch lady just let you eat the regular lunch and figure your family could pay back the $2 the next day? A peanut butter sandwich, that's who, and don't you forget it.

This show has had a long running gag of the hat and shades meme. I'll be honest, I don't get it. I was worried when I joined the show they were gonna make me get a trump hat, fortunately that didn't happen. Hats were a great invention, they keep your hair looking nice, and if you're bald like a certain ass blasted armenian, or dipshit online journalist a hat can protect your frail ego. A hat is also a tool, think of all the cool shit you could be doing with a hat right now.

It may seem premature but it is time to start thinking about Halloween. That's right you only have six months to hit the gym to fit into that slutty outfit that might as well be underwear this Halloween. If Christmas can slowly bleed the life out of the Calendar it's time other holidays challenge it and Halloween should be the one. It has no religious overtones, except for the dumb fuck assholes that call it "The Devil's Birthday." It's fun no matter what age you are, and the decorations look cool as shit. What other time of year can you get pulled over with a body in the trunk and laugh it off? That's what I thought.

As always thank you to all of the patrons here at HWIDG. You keep the show going with your support. Join the Discord if you haven't already and vote on the issues and talk to us about what you don't get. Also don't forget to vote on this month's movie commentary