Tab and Tim Watch #10 - The Thing (Feat. Todd Seidel)

The Thing Commentary

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FINALLY! It’s that time of year again folks! Toss that beach chair and suntan lotion into a dumpster and set it on fire, because not only is it time for Halloween, it’s probably also a Thing monster! That’s right, this month we’re watching The Thing! Get your bourbon, your parkas, your roller skates, and your teeth fillings ready, because someone is secretly a hideous practical effect monster and the only way they can die is a flamethrower to the face.

And if that doesn’t sound exciting enough for you, stick around till the end to find out who calls who the n-word literally dozens of times! Hint: it’s not Kurt Russell to Keith David. Don’t forget to submit your suggestions for next month’s movie, keeping in mind we’ll be recording it just before Halloween day, so remember to keep it spooky!  

Tab and Tim Watch #9 - Hot Fuzz

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Oi mate, welcome to dis monf’s movie commentry. It’s ‘ot Fuzz, wanker. We get all British, ‘ead down to the pub, and ‘ave a pint or two. One of ‘ates it like it’s marmite or somefink. The other likes it enough, like bangers and mash. Find out who it is when ye sit down wit some fish n chips, or maybe a a kebab, and watch the movie wit us. Don’t forget to vote for nex monf’s bloody movie too!

Tab and Tim Watch #8 Demolition Man

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It’s movie time! Join us as we look to the not-so-distant future for a glimpse of society as it is destined to be! The Taco Bell Megacorp runs rampant, people are publicly shamed and punished for harsh words, cars can self-navigate, the government continually outlaws tasty foods, VR sex is the new norm, and worst of all, the entertainment and culture of Japan has infiltrated and consumed the lives of those too weak-hearted to resist it. This movie has it all! Watch as we witness the battles of Spartan vs. Phoenix, Bullock vs. Schneider, and Snipes vs. the IRS! So grab a bowl of pop-pop, a jug of fizz-juice, and get your three seashells ready for one hell of a movie! USER HAS BEEN FINED ONE CREDIT FOR VIOLATION OF THE VERBAL MORALITY STATUTE.   

Don’t forget to vote for next month’s movie! See you then! 

Bonus Commentary - Ready Player One

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Tab and Tim sit down for a grueling day in the reference mines to dig up some old gems of pop culture lost to the ages. This commentary has more pet rocks and gundams than you can shake a stick at. Get your counters ready because we're tallying the fuck out of this movie to determine scientifically if it is terrible or not, (Spoilers) it is.

So grab you favorite amazon prime, or torrent site and get to watching what will go down as Steven Spielberg's easiest paycheck. Ready Player One.

Tab and Tim Watch - DOUBLE BONUS - The Ladykillers

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What is my favorite movie of all time. Tom Hank's 2004 incredible role as Golthwait Higginson Dorr PhD a mastermind of the heist of the century. Watch this fuckin movie, it's literally the best thing the Cohens have ever done. Then get ready to watch it again, because I hit play immediately after watching this movie.

Tab and Tim Watch - Independence Day (ft. Truckin and Tuckin)

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This month features the greatest american story ever told. The 1996 BTFO of a bunch of hentai aliens from the planet fuck off. In a movie that peaked Jeff Goldblum, Sky Rocketed Will Smith, Features Jayne Cobb before the Cobb, and stars the greatest movie extra the world has ever seen. Independence Day should be your most beloved American tradition.

We also bring in our long time friend Truckin and Tuckin who we've talked about on the show. How long does it take, and who is the first one to doxx his real name? Find out when you watch Independence Day.

And visit the form to submit next month's commentary!

Tab and Tim Watch - Bloodsport

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The results are in and Bloodsport is this month's winner. A movie that Tab has never seen and Tim hasn't seen in a long time. Bloodsport brings back the best of the 80s! Stereotypical honor minded oriental characters, easy casual sex with reporters, endearing bromance, and most of all a simple plot that explains itself in 20 minutes, and the rest of the film can just be awesome fights. What isn't there to love. So sit back and enjoy this month's Bloodsport commentary.

Tab and Tim Watch: Tucker and Dale vs Evil

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It was a close call in the voting this month and we had to actually go deep into the rankings to figure out a clear winner. So we will be updating the votes for a ranked choice vote point system. The winner with 82 points for May was Tucker and Dale vs Evil a movie half of us have seen. It actually turns out really good, we both enjoyed it and you will too. Thanks for supporting the show this month and don't forget to submit the next movie!

Tab and Tim Watch - Crank 2: High Voltage

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This movie was a far more psychotic romp than either one of us remembered. Filled with overly graphic violence, fake Joseph Gordon Levitts, Shot Guns in asses, horses on parade, and most importantly high voltage. This movie is far better than Rubber and we want to thank you that fans for it. Don't forget to suggest the next movie in May!

Tab and Tim Watch - Episode 4 Rubber

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Available now for all $10 Patrons

In what may be the worst pitched movie of all time, a tire becomes sentient and kills a town. The tire is pretty cool it has feelings, you start to understand it. Two big problems, 1 they put a framing device in to justify why the movie sucks, and 2 they show the tire kill pretty much nobody. This may be one of the worst films we've ever seen. Sit back and watch it with us though, hopefully you get a laugh.

You guys are the only ones submitting movies this month so be on the look out for that survey that posts right along side this. Thanks for the support for March and we'll catch you next month.

Tab & Tim

Tab & Tim Watch #2 - Robocop (1987) & Robocop (2014)

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Well, you did it! Your first pick for us was both Robocops at the same time, so we did it! It was a little awkward at first, but we got used to it eventually, making sure to spend a little bit of time on each one so that the other one didn’t get jealous. Chances like this don’t come around very often, so we’re grateful you let us, cause we sure enjoyed ourselves. So grab some nuke, rig up your data spiken, and sit down with us as we take on Robocop and Robocop

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Tab & Tim Watch: Hunter Prey

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Welcome to your new monthly reward, patrons! Every month we'll sit down and watch a movie of your choice, whether we like it or not! This first episode is an exception though, as we start off with an indie sci-fi flick that has a sordid past with us. So grab a ten dollar soda, an industrial sized tub of buttered popcorn, and sit down with us as we take on Hunter Prey! 

The film can be found here on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5KG-iiwbtA, or by whatever other shifty means you can find.

Dicktation - Rambo First Blood

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Many months ago I visited Dick Masterson and in the Mountain Bunker and watched a horrifically violent movie that made the career of the biggest mumbler in Hollywood History!

Visit again as Dick Masterson and I host of The Dick Show talk about random mumbo jumbo as we watch Rambo First Blood. During the episode I was offered a free gun, did I get it? The answer is I live in a place where I'm not allowed to have firearms so no.

Awesome thumbnail by Call of the Deep.