Get ready for the show of the century with this week's episode! Dim the lights, start up the fog machine, and blare some nu-metal as we enter the ring and try to TKO these issues:
-"Me Too" Businesses
-Your Dumb TV Show
EXT. COLLEGIATE CAMPUS, DAY. Our hero, TAB, blasts through double doors on to the green lawn of Jefferson U. He tries to catch his breath as he stops and looks around the unusually empty campus. He looks back to the doors. He knows they won't be long. The damn Electives had been chasing him for near 18 years now, and each time they were smarter. Hell, they followed him across the country just to stop him right at the end. He had almost been free. Almost. Somehow they managed to send an agent to the final meeting. Nearly tore his damn face off. This was it. The final showdown. He was going to have to wrestle this thing down and rip it's heart out. If it even had one.
Choices, choices, choices. Whatever you want, whatever you need, we got it here at SaveMart. And if we don't got it, just head next door to Big Saver! And if Big Saver doesn't stock it, try across the street at Discount Plus! If Discount Plus ain't got it, try Dollar Box, and if…stop it. Just stop it. Put your business elsewhere. I’m not going to either store now, are you happy?
We all love things. Usually we love them too much. It makes us blind to its faults, and makes us annoying to others. Just like in Season 17 of Guiding Light when Deborah gets brain cancer and it causes her to love everything she hated and hate everyone she loved. OH, it was sweet when she shot her lover Brian right in the head and ran off with his evil twin Jake. But in Season 18 the dropped the ball when they killed off Jake in the season premiere and introduced the talking rabbit……….
Watch them dangle, each them jiggle, watch them get longer as you age, testicles are the hacky sacks of the human body. Generally useless, a pain in the ass, and hippies just love drowning them in patchouli oil. It’s like having the gas tank of a car outside on the hood. The lack of protection means you have to stay on guard at all times, or wear a cup 24/7. Just chop them off and be done with it please.
Plus, we listen to a bunch of voicemails, including some real spicy, burn your tongue off slabs of rock hard BEEF. As always, thanks for listening, and drop into the Discord.