Episode 38 - Empress In A Locket

It's been quite a while since we last heard from The Empress of Melanin, so she (and her pal Stephanie) are back in s - Empress in a locket It's been quite a while since we last heard from The Empress of Melanin, so she (and her pal Stephanie) are back in studio this week as we bring in the following issues:

- DJs who Can't Read The Room
- "I Ain't Your Nocket"
- "We Need to Talk"

Unless you have no soul, everyone enjoys a little music from time to time. Music sets the mood in your home, livens up a party, creates an atmosphere in the club. But what happens when the person in charge of the music is incapable of gauging what's appropriate in the moment? I'll tell you what: chaos. Just as easily as the music sets the perfect tone, it can become a major distraction and kill the mood. Nothing kills a pleasant conversation more than when you can't hear, and it's almost universally the fault of a playlist jockey who's absorbed in their own little world, blasting you and everyone else into oblivion by writ of the venue owner. Sometimes you can complain to the owner, or even the DJ, and they'll listen, but often it requires the word of more than one. That means you've got to go grab a bunch of your friends to form a mob of complaints, like building a class action lawsuit, just to reduce the cacophony by a few decibels. But while you're doing everyone a favor by enlisting your friends to help you do your arguing, there's a situation where it's less appropriate. . .

The world is a mire of arguing, these days. Everyone has a point to make, an agenda to uphold, and some virtue to signal. But what if you're at a stalemate? How do you get the leg up on your debate opponent? Well, if you're not a minority, you may be tempted to grab your minority friend and get them to agree with you. Besides, in today's political climate, the agreement of a minority member is worth more than the facts that your argument is based upon. But, the Empress is tired of being paraded out, like a genie from a lamp, every time someone needs their argument wish granted. She's tired of being your ethnic minority on demand or, as she puts it, a "negro in a locket". I think lots of people have been guilty of this, so maybe it's time we all had a conversation about it. You know, a talk. I'm saying we need to talk. And that, in and of itself, is an issue . . .

"We need to talk". These words have caused more anxiety in the hearts of the world than just about any others. They can be the leadup to some of life's worst heartaches, and usually indicate that the worst case scenario has been triggered. But, what if, when someone tells you they need to talk, they then just leave you hanging with an unfinished sentence hanging over your head? Like a conversational cliffhanger, except with almost universally negative connotations? The long range "we need to talk" is a manipulation tool, designed to put you on the defensive before the conversation even begins. Now, instead of hearing whatever it is that needs to be said, you're going to be hearing incoming fire that has to be defended against at all costs. Why? Because you've had time to imagine all of the worst case scenarios, and now you're playing goalie. It's an instinct, and it's very difficult to avoid.

Tab coins a new term, "Controversy Signalling": the stirring up of a nontroversy to get attention.  Even though there were voicemails to be listened to, we did no such thing.  Why not?  You'll have to listen to this week's episode to find out!