Summer is Coming. On the final season of Game of HWIDG no one is safe. Watch as approximately 4,562 plotlines converge and people are crossed, double crossed, backstabbed and frontstabbed. Aren't watching? What's wrong with you? Are you living under a rock? Everyone's doing it. It makes you look cool, c'mon. Just try it. Just a lil bit. Be a man. No? Alright then have fun with your:
* Instant Gratification
* Warning Labels
* Easter Grass
Now. That's when I want my things. Can you believe we used to "allow 6-8 weeks for shipping"? Our interconnectivity demands it. Food? NOW! Where is that damn waiter, I don't want to sit here and actually talk to these people. Correspondence? What the hell is a letter, or a postcard? Just text me. And it better be immediately. I know you read it.
Ah, the classic bright colors and bold text of a warning label. Why? Because people are dumb. Can't watch their kids close enough, so they end up swallowing a Lego. Smoking is bad for you? Who'd a thunkit? You mean inhaling smoke on a regular basis could hurt my lungs? Thanks, CancerMan.
With all this division in the world, what we need is to unify. In all aspects of life, but wouldn't it be great if just had one gender neutral pronoun for everyone. I submit "dude”. No need to wonder anymore, “what should I call them?”. No one correcting you, “actually it’s dudette”. It’s that little bit of communism we need to adapt. I’d be fine with “comrade” too.
Once in a blue moon, the dates of the year combine and form like Voltron into a giant red-eyed, munchie-having, Reese’s smeared, skunk bunny rabbit. The perfect day, candy everywhere, zombie stories abound, and free ham if you can find it! Now personally I like to start by packing a huge bowl of Smoochy Poochy and- hold on, I’m being told that this issue is about the plastic green stuff in children’s easter baskets. Lame.