100 criminals. 100 parachutes. 1 island. The event of a lifetime: Here's What I Don't Get Royale. Watch as hardened criminals bash each other's faces in for the chance at freedom, blow each other up with improvised bombs, and behead one another with glee. But watch out! There's kill zones, where their neck implants explode if they enter, genetically modified killer beasts lurking in the jungle, but worst of all.............these issues:
* Blowing your Second Chance
* The Royal Family Circlejerk
* Why isn't it called Jurassic Park 5?
I consider second chances one of the highest forms of mercy. It's all about trust. Some people just can't handle the responsibility of keeping that trust. Like a cat with nine lives, some people get lucky and continually screw up, but get paired with a gentle soul that keeps forgiving them. Others know how painful their mistakes are and are now insanely careful with any and all handles.
A non-British person caring about the Royal family is about the lamest thing I can think of. They’re basically the British Kardashians in that they do absolutely nothing and have garnered millions of fans despite that. No one actually wants a monarchy anymore, but they want the power and old world Disney mystique of it. Everyone always forgets the beheadings. And the power vacuums. And the war, lots of war.
Ghosting, aka the coward’s way out. What are you even doing staying here on earth haunting people for? Slightly rustling the blinds or moving a chair like you care at all. Just confront the person. Possess someone like a demon would, you know, someone with the huevos to do something. Is it really that hard to just move on? Not cool to ghost someone like that. Not cool.
Very few long-running series adhere to the number structure. Once you get past the number three, most move on to subtitles. Origin, Ascension, The Revenge of, Evolution, Legacy, Rebirth, Reborn, Reloaded, Returns, Revolution, Resurrection, Retribution, Requiem, Revelations, etc etc. I don’t know why, really. Afraid that "Movie Name 7” sounds like a cheap cash-in that has lost most sight of the original installment? Yeah we already know that. Just give it to us straight up. We can count.
All that and more on this week’s episode including finding out what movie commentary is up for next month, and we taste test that beer from our mailbag (you can probably guess how that goes)! As always don’t forget to check out the Discord and Patreon!