Episode 136 - Ya Dun Goofed

Introducing the HWIDG Quadruple Bypass 5XL Bacon Cheeseburger. No sissy vegetables, just 5 layers of juicy 100% all-beef patties, Wisconsin cheddar cheese, and Applewood-smoked thick-cut peppered bacon. Served with our 128 oz. Freedom Mug with your choice of soft drink float. Don't forget the cement mixer full of loaded fries! Our delicious thin and crispy fries are tossed with Monterey Jack cheese, bacon bits, sour cream, and our 5 alarm habenero chili Con carne! And for only 99c more we'll throw in our medical-grade IV full of pan drippings! Then get ready for dessert with our actual kitchen sink full of Rocky Road, Peanut Butter Cup, Cookies and Cream, and Caramel Delight ice creams! Topped with a gallon of Nutella, 5 different kinds of icing and crushed praline brittle! Order now and you'll receive a free box with:

Erasing the Evidence of Your Tomfoolery
Boomers Not Knowing How Computers Work
HBO
James Cameron's Avatar
Shyster Hospital Billing

Like a cat burglar in the night, the "extremely-specific-subset-of-twitter-celebrity" uses the finest of diamond-tipped cutting tools to carefully extract and retrieve the local museum's latest installation: their own embarrassing tweet. Except unlike the smart, experienced cat burglar, this one is caught on tape, face fully exposed, and the display has already been shown to the public. Whoops.

The hacker known as 4chan struck again today, targeting local grandmother Eileen Rosenberg. Eileen was just getting ready to check Facebook, something most of us do without a second thought, when suddenly she was locked out of her account. She says the infamous hacker got access to her account and changed her password without her knowing. What's even worse is that Eileen had just gone through a different kind of hack last month, one which left her screen black despite turning her computer on and off again many times. Authorities say to remember to never give your information out online, unless he's a very nice young man.

Ah, Home Box Office, the premiere "edgy" TV network. Many a kid of the 90s turned to it to maybe get a fuzzy picture of boobs when their parents were gone by messing with the cable box. Or maybe your friend's parents had it and you got to catch some softcore lovin' way past midnight. Either way they used to be where you turn to if you wanted maturity in your programming. F-bombs a plenty, full-frontal nudity galore, and heads exploding if you were lucky. But these days it just seems like another channel. As programming in general got edgier, it seems HBO is relinquishing that title and is happy to just be one of the guys. Oh but pay them 15 bucks a month still.

 Empires have risen and fallen. Presidents have come and gone and come again. Batmen have been beaten, finished, Affleck'd, Sadfleck'd, and Twilighted. Spider-Men have gone from campy to way-too-cool to "I don't feel so good Mr. Stark". Preschoolers that witnessed it are now married with a kid on the way. No, it's not Haley's Comet, it's James Cameron's Avatar and it's planned 2, no, 3, no, 4 sequels. Will they ever happen? Probably. But will anyone care? Will they have filmed 4 movies at once, put out the first of the sequels and see it bomb? More than likely. And the most tragic thing about it? He'll just move on to the next biggest thing in the world.

Guess what? Hospitals in the US? Screwed up. Big insurance companies shaft them and they pass the screwing onto the customer. Even 3 months after you were there. What's the solution? Fast food. Specifically that big fast food menu with all the items and prices on it. No being jerked around and paying 500 dollars for 2 over-the-counter ibuprofen capsules. X-Ray? $25 per. Leg amputation? 300 dollars please. McChicken? Somehow still $1.

All this and more on this week's beefy boi of an episode. How many voicemails did Deadhelm send? More or less than 10? The answer just may surprise you. Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.