Episode 132 - Dame Julie Andrews the Machine Gun

Welcome to HWIDG's Believe It Or Not! Tonight we tackle the mysterious case of “bag-fling". This forbidden martial art has popped up many times throughout history, and each time, the legends around it... have only gotten deadlier. The earliest record of bag-fling was actually known by a different name, “Osshet” which we believe was the name of its founder, and ancient Mayan warrior. Legend has it that this defensive but deadly fighting style was discovered by him…on accident. One day while carrying a makeshift parcel full of citrus fruit, he heard the all-too-well-known sound of a fearsome jungle Tiger behind him. Whipping around quickly, he let go of one handle and in an instant, those fruit went flying toward the animal, knocking it hard enough to make it flee. And thus was born a legend. Next time, join us as we discover the mysteries behind:

* Disney Live Action Remakes
* "Call Me If You Need Anything"
* New Mac Pro
* Amateur Hour

Oh Disney. You have to be everyone’s childhood, don’t you. From Steamboat Willie and Snow White, to Frozen and Tangled and everything in between. But, there was a time from the very late 80s through 2000, let’s call it, the 90s shall we, where you had your renaissance. Hit after hit after box-office smashing hit. Modern classics. And now, lots of those kids are getting into the baby-making era of their lives. Making little babies that are prime real estate for you to drip feed your wonder and magic right into their little throats. Remake the hell out of your classics and guess what, in another 20 years do it again to those kids’ kids. It’ll be an endless cycle of “Your Disney Favorites*!” (*Brought to you by National Geographic)

Look, I know I’m your boss and all, but I’m cool. I let you call me by my first name, cause we’re buds! I’m taking the day off though, so, call me if you need anything. Anything at all! Well boss, the place is on fire, there’s looters and Jane from HR and Mike the janitor are going at it like a pair of hippos in the middle of the lobby. “Yeah, I’ll check it out tomorrow, alright bud? Don’t call me again.” Look, in this day and age with emails you can ignore for days and texts you can ignore for hours, a call is special. It means I NEED TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW DAMN IT.

Macintosh. Where did you go? Oh how the mighty have fallen. From those colorful see through Skittles you called iMacs to the current cheese grater on wheels. What are you doing? The Mac Pro’s have always been expensive, sure but they were always cutting edge industry-standards. Then came the trash can Mac, and you single handedly gave Adobe the leg up in professional editing. Now you come back to take the throne, but instead you piss on the professionals’ face and tell them to pony up twice as much? The balls on you, man.

Amateur does not mean bad, lets get that out of the way first. Unpolished gems are still gems. They just need more TLC, and money to be frank. But, there comes a time when mistake after mistake after mistake piles up and you can only call it one (HR-friendly) thing. Amateur hour. What is amateur hour? It’s a shiftiest of epic proportions. A mountain of dumbassery. A flood of fuck-ups. It’s just embarrassing. The kind of thing you don’t want to be seen within 500 feet of. You wouldn’t touch it with someone else’s 10 foot pole. You just want it to go away.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Voicemails, voicemails, and more voicemails. Oh, also one of us completely forgets how the show works, so look forward to that! Catch us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON, and BUY A SHIRT!