Welcome to the HWIDG open mic comedy night! You get 5 minutes, and if the crowd is over 50% unsatisfied with your performance, you get shot in the head! Don't forget to tip your bartender and a reminder that we have our crowdfunding jar over there by the bathrooms to get Carrot Top to come join us here! Alright let's have some laughs, first up is Mike Rondell!
* Bad Comedy
* Party Poopers
* Pick and Choose Spoilers
* Manufactured B Movies
Comedy is very subjective. Everyone knows what they like and dislike within it. So when something comes along as a mainstream hit, you know it's either great or is reaching for the lowest common denominator. And when something universally panned comes along? It makes you wonder: who was this even for? Am I living in an alternate universe where *this* is considered funny? Cause if so, for the love of god please take me back.
Look, sometimes you drink too much at a party, or you had a bad burrito beforehand, and you've really got to go. You walk upstairs to the bathroom and... hello line! So, you're waiting in line and the person in front of you starts making small talk. "How's work?" "Oh, pretty good I just got a 10% raise, so I'm pretty happy about that." "You know farmers in Ethiopia only earn that 10% of what you make a month, annually." WELL WE'RE NOT IN ETHIOPIA, ARE WE BRAD?! I CAN'T BE HAPPY ABOUT A RAISE FOR 10 SECONDS BEFORE YOU PARTY POOPERS TAKE A DUMP ON MY FACE?
[REDACTED] died in this week's episode of Game of Thrones. There. I am now more courteous than 98% on the internet. As a culture we've decided what is and isn't okay to just talk about out loud as it happens as if we're all in a room together watching it. Then, there's the "journalists" that write articles like "What [REDACTED] dying in Avengers: Endgame means for the future of The Office franchise". WELL BUDDY ONLY ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS STARS IN THAT SHOW, YA DUN GOOFED AND SPOILED IT ALREADY.
Cult classics. "So bad, it's good". The small B movies that wiggle their way into our hearts did so of their own volition. The people behind them? Earnestly making the best thing they can. You can't manufacture the same thing through a Hollywood studio. It's got a certain stench. But they try anyways. Sonic The Hedgehog? Looks like about the most manufactured B movie you could get. Cheaply made, but it's still got the Hollywood look. Competent-looking CGI up the butt is miles ahead of the plastic looking 30 year old CG we *should* be getting.