Episode 284 - Ninja Turtle Popsicle

This week HWIDG dives head first into the creamy, frozen world of ice cream! That's right, starting next week, you'll be able to buy a pint of Here's What Ice Don't Cream at participating gas stations and all Dollar General stores. Two flavors are up for grabs, with more to come. First, we have "Tab's Delight", a vanilla-bourbon ice cream with chunks of medium rare steak. Second is "The Scoopbreaker", an extra firm dark chocolate ice cream with ribbons of ghost pepper and white chocolate-covered chunks of Ambien. So grab a pint, or call your local store and request, no, DEMAND that they carry Here's What Ice Don't Cream!

- Unlegal
- Being On a Team with the Dumb Kid
- Media Flashlight
- Too Much For Kids

The Grey Zone of Legality. A wild west of a place where the legalities of things are as nebulous as its citizens. "Well, it's not illegal" is the most uttered phrase there, spilling out of the mouths of lawyers like broken teeth in a nightmare. When there would take some amount effort to codify a practice or act as legal or not, your elected officials instead fly first class to the Grey Zone, taking a vacation from duties, staying in their nice summer homes in the area, all while pretending to do their jobs as lawmakers. Law. Makers. Not lawsuit-ruling-pointer-at-ers. You could be the sharpest tack in the room, or you could just be a well-used but reliable tack, but either way the poster you are being used to hang up will always fall because of the tack that doesn't know it's broken. That's what being in a group with a real dummy feels like. Like you are being dragged down to their level when you have to explain everything multiple times, use small words because brain small, and double check everything they do. Even worse, they act like magnets for non-work and slow everyone around them down, making everyone just that little bit dumber.

"The world is a dark place, and there to shine a light on the cobwebs of society is the news media! Shining their light of justice onto the dusty, hidden tomes that are shady dealings in government, they are enforcers of truth and the American Way!" This is what the media sees themselves as. A Saturday-morning cartoon version of what they were meant to be, instead of their trailer park trash-level of entertainment coverage and Xeroxed headlines. Instead of using their flashlight of justice to guide the people to the corruption going on right under their noses, they instead use it to bounce the people's interest to the latest unimportant celebrity beef, keeping the real nightmares you should know about in the dark.

Children are the future. Keyword being *future*, not present. Kids these days carry themselves like self-important all-knowing brats because we've spent the last 30 years increasingly focusing on them. The rise of the teen heartthrobs of the 80's led way to an all out kids-focused media blitz in the 90s. All of a sudden, kids weren't just small adults-to-be, they were their own demographic to be marketed to and marketed with. Anything adults have, no matter how unimportant or inappropriate, has been bastardized to fit children somehow. For children. Snot-nosed, OshKosh B'gosh-wearing, diaper-filling children.

All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.