Episode 273 - Big Honkers — Here's What I Don't Get

As Americans, we basically invented honkers. Even if we hadn't, we've got the most famous ones! I'm talkin Convoy (the song), Convoy (the movie), Smokey and the Bandit, Dolly Parton, and Optimus Prime! We need to stand in solidarity with the Canadian truckers that get that sweet maple syrup from Calgary to Alberta however far that is! Seriously, how far is that? Anyways, we need to be honking just as much! Show them that while Rock & Roll may not be Noise Pollution, honking sure is! That's why HWIDG will be proudly raising money for the cause by launching Honk For Honkers. For every pair of honkers we see out there on the road, we'll be donating 1 HONKCoin.

- The Mask-Off
- Optometry
- Live. Die. Repeat
- Phone Tower Outages

Finally, masks are gone! I saw it! At the Superbowl, in Los Angeles of all places, the crowds were packed and not a single mask! It's over! But you're still seeing masks aren't you? Of course you are! The mandate might be over, but masks are still "strongly recommended" by your local government, the same way they "strongly recommend" locking your doors at night. Don't worry, though, because they're still required in airports, schools, hospitals, stores, restaurants, theaters, and anywhere else you might go. Fr**dom!

We figured out eyes a long time ago with glasses. For those 10% of times that glasses are uncomfortable, we invented contacts. We solved it! Aside from curing blindness with sci-fi eye transplants we solved all of humanity's vision problems! So what happens when an industry is stagnant? Well, they invent new problems so they can solve them! Lens coatings to prevent scratches and UV rays and blue light, trifocals and quadfocals, transition lenses so you have kind-of sunglasses and glasses in one! Then we went from hard contacts to soft ones, dailies, weeklies, and monthlies, colored contacts for weebs, HydroPlus technology so they stay moister longer, HydroPlus is out AquaVent technology is in! Contacts for presbyopia and astigmatism and rheumatism and multifocal contacts with Predator vision! Calm down, I just need to see more than 6 inches in front of me.

Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. What do you remember from high school history class? Or were you too busy drawing sketches of Spawn fighting Batman, or playing Tekken under the table, or playing footsies with a second-string cheerleader? What was the major headline this week last year? Is it something that just totally slipped by you? One drop in a bucket of information that is poured into our eyes daily? No one learns from history anymore, because there's too much of it. It's not actual history until it's in a book somewhere 20 years from now, and you know what's going to stick, the big wars and market crashes. No one will care that businesses were given the strength of governments and time and time again they had say on what was right or wrong.

Everyone has cell phones. Something like 97% of Americans. With margin of error and folks that have more than one for business and work or sidepieces, you've got to figure 100% is a good bet. So we know how many things we need to service, how the hell are we not adequately servicing them? We've got cell speeds faster than most peoples computers were ten years ago, but I can't send a text in the middle of the day for some reason? How about you stop spending millions on Superbowl commercials and even more on bonuses for the board, and stop bowing down to the Karens of HOAs by making towers look like pretty plastic trees and MAKE SURE MY PHONE CAN SEND A CAT GIF TO SOMEONE 5 MILES AWAY IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE!

All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.