Episode 219 - AMC 401K

SELL, SELL, SELL! It's time to sell all your shares in all companies you have shares in and BUY, BUY, BUY the brand new stock HWDG. This mysterious company that just went public is HOT, HOT, HOT today and could be the next Red Lobster or Lowe's! No one knows exactly what they do yet, but we CAN tell you that they promise that for every share you buy they will donate one perfectly cooked medium-rare steak to two lucky men chosen completely by lottery. This just in: the owners of HWDG have just stated that their goal for the next 5 years is to completely eradicate:

- Computerized Everything
- Being Against WSB
- Ruinous Characters
- "Addressing the Problem"

Everything what got computers in them these days. The problem? We haven't even got pain ol' computers right yet. If you can't get Norton Antivirus to stop pinging every time you boot up League of Legends, how are you going to rely on your self-driving Tesla to brake in time to avoid a collision?

Hedge fund bankers. Those are the real heroes of 2021. Those brave soldiers that sit in A/C cooled, swanky offices betting on whether or not your favorite company should live or die while getting a hummer from their third secretary this year and shooting a money gun full of your literal hard owned money into a kiddie pool where two large Russian women wrestle in chocolate pudding. We should care about these people immensely, and no harm should come to them even though the government breaks its back to help them three times over anytime they screw up. Please Daddy Wall Street, I just need a little bit of that insider trading!

Imagine if you hype up a show or movie so much to your friend that they finally give in and check it out and the first thing they hear is some asshole yelling for "Hello" for 35 seconds. Sometimes there are these characters so annoying and pathetic that it's a testament to the entire rest of the show that it doesn't just crumble under the weight of the like of Wesley Crusher's huge ego and Deanna Troi's pile of aborted alien babies.

Look, we here at HWIDG acknowledge and apologize for the mistakes in this week's episode and promise to have them fixed by this time next year. Step 1A subsections 1 through 9 are currently planned to be put into effect as soon as July, barring any unforseen consequences. For any questions or concerns, please go screw yourself.

All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!