Episode 199 - XXXL, All Beef, No Filler

It's finally that time of year folks. The weather's getting colder, the trees are changing colors, and you're stuck inside! You're working from home for the foreseeable future and its driving you crazy. In fact you're hearing strange noises from the neighborhood. Every odd noise makes you jump feverishly, and you arm yourself when you walk around the house. Smart, because there's been a ravenous escaped convict in your attic and walls. You better escape from him if you have any chance of appearing as a guest on our new sister podcast Here's What I Don't Get About Almost Being Murdered. Join us every other week as we discuss the finer points of dodging knife strikes and which kind of doors are the hardest to break through with an axe. Oops, you're dead. This must be the beginning of the movie, my bad. I guess I'll just wait here until those sorority girls move in to ask them about:

* Blowing Smoke Up Your Ass
* Tree Care
* People Who Don't Take Care of their Car
* The Gathering Place

By the late 1700s, it was popular belief that drowning victims could be resuscitated by literally blowing smoke up their ass. And not just any smoke at that! Tobacco, specifically. The thought was that it would dry the water and the tobacco would increase their heart rate to get them back to life. I've just got to imagine two things. One: that the guy who invented this was just really kinky. Did you know that at this time they also gave monetary rewards for civilians that rescued drowning victims? And that there were con men who would abuse this system by "saving" their drowning friends? So, two: those dudes were just really kinky too! Damn, old people were really kinky.

Just let trees be. They are not your hair. They do not need constant pruning and primping. If something bad happens, like a rogue branch starts leaning on some electrical lines, or a storm blows one over, sure, it needs to get taken care of. And if it needs to get taken care of it needs to be done by a professional with the right tools. Your small hand saw with half the teeth missing or your little electric "chainsaw" is NOT the proper equipment. You need power tools. The stink of gasoline, they're incredibly dangerous, but guess what, they get the job done.

Car guys really like their cars. Car guys also really like telling you things about cars you didn't know. Is it useful? I guess. I know not to put water in my radiator now. Or was it my carburetor? I also know that you don't just grab the gold bottle of Valvoline oil. I think Tab said you buy three bottles and mix them all together? Or don't do that. One of those. ALl I know is that hood pins look terrible.

The Gathering Place. Do you really like to gather? Do you want to go to a place? Congrats, you're boring, but boy do I have the perfect place for you. It's full of places to gather, and that's about it.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT! And check out the video segment of Lower Decks-pectiations!