Episode 196 - Mandatory Dry Skin

The National Podcast Convention was canceled earlier this week by shocking events that this country has never seen before. A mass assault was carried out on fellow American citizens by Vice-Presidential nominee Reacher the Cat, a first of its kind (unless you count 9/11). When questions about his economical discrepancies where brought up, he began to hiss toward the reporter and in a flash jumped and latched onto his face inflicting many, many shallow cuts. He then jumped from face to face as if it was an all-you-can-eat tuna buffet. I've got to tell you, the violence was unlike anything I've ever seen before. Luckily the day was saved by a quick, loud "No!" from President Birt, and we are all in his debt. If this had gone on any longer, we would've seen medical bills in the hundreds. A quick reminder that the National Podcast Convention is brought to you by:

* Security Theatre
* Going Up
* "Just"
* Losing Your Wallet

One part of media I enjoy these days are the incredibly specific genres we can enjoy. Readers can be into lesbian sci-fi neo-noir or monster-girl harem isekai manga. As a fan of heavy metal, you can listen to progressive blackened death metal but only the kind with americana folk influences if you like or chiptune covers of avant-garde industrial shoegazecore. But then there comes a genre that nobody wants: security theater. Who wants Paul Blart: Mall Cop the musical? Or an operatic Observe and Report? I'll tell you who: mindless peons that need to be reminded that Big Brother and Cousin Corpo are doing everything they can to keep you safe from big bad flu.

Man just doesn't know when to stop. We invented fire and it gave us steak. We invented the wheel and it gave us travel. We should've stopped there. We were meant to look at a mountain and say "that's cool, glad we can't go there though". The first guy that wanted to climb a mountain should've been stopped in his tracks for the goodness of the future of mankind. Now we're up here defying nature thousands at a time in planes every day. Hundreds of climbers and hikers go undiagnosed with mental disorders. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

It's never "just" one thing. It's "just" one rejected art school student. It's "just" splitting an atom. It's "just" one canister of ooze in a sewer. It's "just" an alleyway mugging. It's "just" one segregated housing floor. It's "just" a little war-time experimentation. It's "just" a renewal of Fox's hit animated sitcom Family Guy. See what I mean? "Just" has given rise to many of mankind's atrocities, and by god if modern family Guy isn't one of them.

I got mugged last weekend. The guy stabbed me multiple times, stole my dog, and took my car. But the worst part? He took my wallet. Insurance forms I can do. Medical bills? Easy. But now i've got a hundred or so missing in cash, business cards gone, i've got to freeze my credit and debit cards, fight the charges the mugger made, get new ones issued, and change all my saved payment information on a dozen or more websites and apps. Worst of all i've got to go to the DMV during the middle of the day and wait 5 hours for them to print a new license and ID. Shoulda just killed me, mugger.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT!