Episode 181 - Mandatory — Here's What I Don't Get

Coming to NBC this fall, The New Normal, from the creators of the legendary Life. In this futuristic sitcom, we follow John Everyman in a post-apocalyptic New York City. After a virus wipes out a large percentage of humanity, John must go from eating from cans and virtual conference calls to having to put pants on again! And if that wasn't enough, his ex, Sarah, is back in town having recovered from the terrible flesh-eating virus! When they get back together it seems John has some issues with her new look! Catch it this fall with these other great shows:

* Stickers
* Voter ID
* The Elder Scrolls VI
* Zoom

Stickers are good for one thing: making clean things dirty. I know, I know I'm in the minority, but that means you have to listen to me. I see stickers slathered on laptops and music gear all the time, and you know what, it makes me think less of that person. A single sticker meticulously placed at the center, or to hide a blemish? Perfectly A-OK. So many that you can't see the original color? BOO. It reminds me of the hallway of dingy venues that lead to the bathrooms, but without the scent of beer and piss and the packed-like-sardines groping going on.

Requiring any of a plethora of acceptable forms of identification when you vote seems reasonable. You can't buy liquor or Mortal Kombat without it, so why should voting be held to a lesser standard? Well if you're a white liberal, then voter ID is unlawful and racist, but when it comes to literally anything else, TAG ME DADDY GOVERNMENT. MAKE ME HOLD UP A SIGN SAYING I'M A FILTHY VAXXER, DADDY. WRITE IT ON ME, DADDY. LET'S TELL THE WHOLE WORLD I'M YOUR LITTLE CORONA SLAVE.

Skyrim? That shit's old. It came out like more than twenty years ago. I'm pre-ordering that hot new game TES6. It comes out on the PS6 next year, even my dad is excited, he said he was "hype AF". What a coronahead. While I'm here, let me get Street Fighter 7, Call of Duty Black Ops 9, and the new Destiny 2 expansion. Anyways, I heard that the NPCs in TES6 are *so* advanced that they've got like 50 different arrow in the knee stories.

Google Hangouts, Microsoft Teams, Zoom, whatever you use, it's creeped up into so many more people's lives. It's taking over everything, from live TV, to education. I honestly think we'll see Zoom Movies by next year. And you know what? It'll look LIKE GARBAGE. Jesus christ, send these people some decent hardware! YOU'RE BEING OUTDONE BY TWITCH STREAMERS. IT'S A NECESSITY FOR THEM. SIMPS NEED THEIR MOMMY JOI ROLEPLAY ASMR IN 4K 60FPS.

All this and more on this week’s episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON, NEWPROJECT2 or by BUYING A SHIRT!