Whenever there's danger of any kind, from cats in trees, to a spilled double double at the Timmie's, the HWIDG Mounted Brigade is there to help! Officers of her majesty, they enter into the most dangerous situations! Whether it's a burning Kraft Dinner, or a rampaging moose, our officers are ready to deal with it all. From Newfoundland to Vancouver, and everywhere between, these men and women are ready to protect all Canucks, unless there's hockey on. Then, you'll have to deal with these yourselves:
* Big Plugs
* Coffeehouse Covers
* Not Cursing
I'd say I like Big Plugs, but I cannot lie. I think the rest of you can't deny, that when a thing shows up with a fat square plug that takes up too much space, you get mad! You wanna pull out your hair cause you notice your plugs are stuffed. Blocking up the surge protector, two prongs taking three connectors. Oh baby, I want a slim plug-in, so that I'm not tugging my plugs and organizing, so that plug you got, make it real tiny.
Take a white guy/gal, give them an acoustic guitar, an iconic song, a coffeehouse stage and watch them screw it up. They just always have to add their own basic flair. You've gotta wait until they start singing it at 75% speed before you can say "is that Scar Tissue?" In coffee terms, they turn a classic hot cup of black into a Carmel White Chocolate Frappacino Half-Caf with Two Pumps of Vanilla.
Great Caesar's ghost! You know what makes me mad as heck!? People that can't stand cursing. What the frick is wrong with you that you can't take a fudgepacking word. It's just a little word, dangnabbit! Let it out! It just feels good, doesn't it you son of a motherless goat? Still being a flippin' prude? How 'bout you shut the front door and let people say what they want you piece of shiz.