This...is one small step for a podcast, one giant step for podcasting-kind. Welcome to Here's What I Don't Get, the only currently interstellar podcast to tackle all of space's toughest issues. I'm your host Tim the Capsulebreaker and with me today, the man disappointed that the moon actually is made of cheese, the space rage machine, Tab Birt. Coming to you live from the Moon comes with its own problems, for instance, we've had to weigh our cables down because they almost strangled us earlier. We're also on a delay with you Earthers down there, so technically we're in the future. Suck it, losers. Well, let's getting some issues then:
* Marijuana Activists
* Picking Apart Everything
* Technical Difficulties
* The Toe Bro
People can't leave well enough alone. As soon as we got medical marijuana legalized, they immediately went on the attack for legal recreational weed. I really don't want to turn this town into Denver. You can see and smell Denver as soon as you enter Colorado. Like someone tinted Mt. Doom green. Don't fill our city with your "good stank". No stank is good stank.
Hey HWIDG fans, here's 20 things you missed in the last episode! We're gonna slow down the audio and pick it apart piece by piece until you're sick of it! Did you know the sponsors for most episodes aren't even real?! SIN! We looked it up and Tim the "handlebreaker" hasn't broken a handle in a whole month! SIN!
Look, actual technical difficulties are rough, but hiding behind them because you're hungover? Bad move buddy. Just be honest with people. Your fans get hangovers too! Otherwise you get idiots breaking doors and starting near riots. Actual technical difficulties are grueling tasks for the people putting your show on. Don't blame them for your poor planning. Shouldn't have planned a show halfway across the country the day after the Grammy's.
As I write this, there's a commercial for The Toe Bro on A&E right now. It's even marketing itself with how gross it is. There's flakes flying around and scalpels and all sorts of torture instruments on feet so bad they probably have to blur it out. Feet are nasty. We're really scratching the bottom of the barrel here for entertainment, eh.