Episode 154 - Funko Poops

Welcome back to Here's What I Don't Get. Now that Halloween is over, we're moving on to the most American of holidays, that's right i'm talking about National Fast Food Day. The 16th is coming up fast so we're making sure everyone is ready to stuff themselves silly yet somehow not feel full. We're talking Taco Bell breakfast, Wendy's for Lunch, and Popeye's for dinner. Super sized, smothered, crunchy, extra bacon goodness on everything, and don't forget the 64 ounce Diet Coke. And this is Day 1 of practice, so grab your XXXL sweatpants and get ready to to binge on:

* The New "Man on the Street"
* The Open Carry Scare
* Letting the Guitar Player Sing One
* Co-opting Geek Culture

Channel 7 Nightly News here, and we're with mister John Brown talking about the recent state bill decriminalizing jaywalking/ John? YEAH UHHH I THINK THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS BEHIND ALL THIS. THEY'RE TAKING YER TAX DOLLARS AND THROWING THESE BIG ILLUMINATI PARTIES WHERE THEY EAT PANDAS AND OTHER SUCH ENDANGERED ANIMALS. AND THEY GOT THESE GO-GO DANCERS IN CAGES HANGING FROM THE CEILING AND THEY'RE ALL BORN BLIND SO THEY GOTTA HAVE THE GUIDE ANIMALS BUT THEY DON'T LET THE LITTLE DOGS IN THERE OR ELSE THEY'LL EAT 'EM YA KNOW, SO ALL THE DANCERS TOOK TO THE BIG 'OL LIGERS AND SUCH AND THAT'S WHY THEY GOT THIS BILL THROUGH.

Well, Oklahoma's finally what everyone thinks it looks like. We got people getting into duels on main street, miniguns mowing down people by the dozen, and bazookas strapped to back of every school Principal. Wait, it isn't? Oh. Well....uh....this is awkward. I thought this would be a little more like Call of Duty where everyone has at least 2 weapons on them at all times, shotgun shell bandoliers, and speed loaders for 44 Magnum revolvers. Well, great! I spent all this money getting my clothes tailored with a layer of bleeding-edge bulletproof material. I want a refund!

"Music is all about experimentation, mannnn. Let me sing a song on the record, dude", said the stoned guitarist. Flash forward 6 months to everyone skipping that song in the first 3 seconds. 8/10 reviews saying "This is a perfect album, save for the song sung by the guitar player who must've promised to quit the band otherwise. This could have been the Dark Side of the Moon of the 2020's, but alas."

Bazinga man has ruined wearing Flash shirts for any fan of Barry Allen or Wally West or Eobard Thawne. The Marvel Cinematic Universe has introduced a whole new regiment of people into ponying up cash for nerdy gear. But on top of those die hard MCU fans it's opened up the floodgates to flocks of casual fans that eat up merch like Galactus eats worlds. It's everywhere you look, even your grandma knows about the talking raccoon guy. It's cool to be geeky now (but only on the surface). But there's also the flipside to it. Do you really want to be the "nerd test" asshole? HOW MANY GREEN LANTERNS CAN YOU EVEN NAME? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO B'DG OR MOGO ARE? WHAT'S A POOZER? YOU FAKE NERD.

All this and more on this week's episode (no more jokes from Todd, we promise)! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, and support us on PATREON, NEWPROJECT2 or by BUYING A SHIRT!