Episode 78 - Bones and Cobs
/Okay folks, for my first trick I'll need a volunteer from the audience. Anybody? Yes, you sir! Come on up. Okay, hold this hat please. Reach in. Nothing, yes? Now, I say the magical phrase "Here's What I Don't Get" and..... Abracadabra it's four magical issues!
* Fort Knox-Level Account Security
* My Culture is not your Viral Marketing
* Bones in Food
* Rush Hour
Let's get a heist crew together and break into Tab's ISP account. We'll need the world's experts and probably also some telepaths to read his mind. Once there we can do the most heinous thing possible......upgrade his internet speed! Wait, you're telling me it's easier to get into his bank account? Why don't we just do that then?
Brands. Can't live with them and can't live without them co-opting internet meme culture in an attempt to connect with those wacky teens Twittering and Doing It For The Gram. HWIDG is jumping on the brand meme bandwagon as well. Yaas queen, had to do it to em, SpongeBob images, sir I don't feel so good, and jesus I wanna kill myself already, teen outreach attempt canceled.
The year is 2173, the war rages on. Earth has been split into two factions, the traditionalist Bone-ins and the modern Boneless. After many skirmishes, the Boneless have the old ones at the end of their rope. Their ancient way of life will soon be no more. All that will be left is the will of the Boneless, righteous and true. The remains of the bones will be ground to dust and made into pious masks that we will wear as we eat our meat with no obstructions.
Finally, done with a long day at work. Time to get home and relax. Oh wait, you've got to sit through 45 minutes of stand-still traffic because everyone is getting off work at the same time. And even worse, you've got to chaperone this police inspector from Hong Kong around L.A. on behalf of the FBI. Plus, he keeps touching your radio and doesn't understand the words coming out of your mouth.
All that plus some movie talk, a threatening voicemail, and some hot court document reading. Don't forget to stop by the Discord and visit the Patreon!