Welcome to another rousing episode of Here's What I Don't Get! This week we hop on to the wild steer that is life and try to lasso these issues:
Your Dumb Bleeping Children
Not Putting Things Back where They Go
Not Removing Ice on Your Car
Everything must go. No, it's not a fire sale, it's just a fact of life. I will go. You will go. The USA will go, followed shortly by Earth itself, and in a few billion years, the universe. This is because the purple horse demons that created it are in need of an upgrade and Verizon planned it so that everything would perish right before their contract was up. C'mon, everyone knows Verizon is behind it all. And in the next universe, maybe we'll have a fighting chance against them. Maybe.
Our next issue is pretty simple. We don't wanna hear about your stupid robots. All day you're badgering me with stories about little 6 year old V-Unit 11497. Stop it. No one cares. Robots are dumb, we all know this. Everyone has heard and seen everything a little robot will-wait what? This issue's not about robots? But it says bleeping children. Oh, I see what happened. Tab said a bad word when yelling about snot-nosed brats. Either way, don't talk to us about your children, robots, or robot children.
Just as everything must go, everything also must stay. STAY IN ONE GODFORSAKEN PLACE. PLEASE. JUST PUT THINGS BACK WHERE YOU FOUND THEM. THEY'RE THERE FOR A REASON. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? NEXT TIME I CAN'T FIND THE FLIPPING HAMMER, I'M DRIVING TO THE CLOSEST HARDWARE STORE AND GOING OLDBOY ON ALL THEIR ASSES. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
There's only one reason why someone should have their car windows covered. And that's because they're covered in sheet metal and spikes and you're in a post-apocalyptic race for a gallon of water. Wouldn't you squeegee a marauder's blood off your windshield so you don't die and take out 3 other cars in that scenario? Then why won't you scrape the ice off? I hope you spin out, you jerk.
And that's not all, we also listen to a whole buttload of voicemails, and have our very first listener submitted news intro (You'll need to turn on subtitles for that part)! Don't forget to vote on next month's movie choice, and hop in the Discord too: https://discord.gg/sNfkH5Z