Hey there listener! You know that voice in your head that tell you to shoplift and dropkick toddlers? Well make room for a new one as Tim the Handlebreaker officially joins the podcast! On the Season 3 premiere, we assault your senses with these issues:
-The Living Room-ification of Movie Theaters
-Electronic Arts' Sudden Villainy
-Terrible Final Jeopardy Questions
-Salvation Army Bell Ringers
The comfort of your own home. A nice big recliner, a fat plate of food in front of you, Americop 2: The Revengening on the big screen, and dozens of people you don't know who can't work their phone's brightness setting. ONE OF THESE THINGS DOESN'T BELONG. Over the years big chain movie theaters have figured out that we as a people would rather stay at home where we can control the thermostat and not pay per person to see their new summer blockbusters. So, to get the audience back they've changed their seating, food, and overall experience to be much more like your own living room, but bigger. The only problem is that you still have to deal with morons. Speaking of morons, some people still had hope that EA wouldn't screw up their new Battlefront game, but guess what? They did! And absolutely nobody saw it coming. It blindsided everyone like an 98 year old lady driving a flatbed through a shopping mall. Was this the straw that broke the camel's back? Why does it take until your space elves grow cancer of the lootbox variety until you realize that this massive company doesn't care about you? They just want those sweet, sweet galactic credits. Doesn't Dark Fader deserve your money? No! But you know who does deserve your money? The far-better-when-mustachioed Alex Trebek. Look, the man needs all the support he can get. He sits in that dank, dark dungeon he calls an office every day racking his gamma radiation-soaked brain for categories and questions to stump those trivia know-it-alls. He plays it off like the show has "writers" and "judges" but not anymore... it's been just him for a long time. Unfortunately that means not every question can be a winner, and lately it seems he's given up on the Final Jeopardy questions, which is a shame, considering that they should be the ultimate test of useless trivia knowledge. But alas, he is just one man. Wouldn't it be nice to do your holiday shopping in peace this year? TOO BAD! This time of year, only one thing stands between your ears and those heavily discounted miter saws, and it's the Salvation Army Bell Ringers. Not enough is it for them to ask for a donation, but they must also thrust the cacophony of a hand bell right into your inner ear. Personally, we'd rather hear a nice jazz flute, or a local thrash metal band playing Silent Night as they beg us for money that we would rather spend on stocking stuffers. Guilt us into charity a little more quietly next year, why don't you.
We also listen to a whole trove of voicemails wishing Uncle Buck the best as he walks off into the sunset, and Tab tells tales from the windy city. Which one of us made the top 100 posts on Reddit this week? Honestly, you don't have to listen to this episode to guess, but you should!
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