Ep 51 - Outdoor Bureaucracy (ft. Monon'c Pat)

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You'd better hope the weather holds up, because we're kicking off this festival, hosted by none other than Monon'c Pat, who was the winner of our Halloween look-alike contest! So, grab a bevvy, wander the vendor tents, or pick a spot on the lawn and watch us as we take the stage with the following issues: -Outdoor Festivals -Bureaucracy -Toy Video Games

Ever wanted to have a cool party or ceremony or other form of social gathering, but were just dead set on doing it outside on a pleasant, sunny day? The bigger the plans, the more time it takes to prepare, so you spend potentially weeks or months with an idyllic vision in your mind's eye of happy people doing happy things in a picture-perfect setting. And then it rains. And you, and your festival/wedding/party are outside in that rain. Good job. Not. Look, I get it. We all want to enjoy the perfect outdoor conditions, and the fresh air, and even though we know that bad weather is a possibility, we seem to have this ability to just throw that concept into the air and say "Fuck it. Rain doesn't happen to MY parade." and away we go. Now all of your time and effort are wasted. And speaking of wasting time and effort . . .

Governments are a reality. They just happen. There are many debates about the necessity of the state, and the ubiquitous social compact, but those are far loftier concepts. What governments mean, inevitably, is that you're going to have to interact with a government bureau to get permission of some kind for some activity that you JUST WANT TO FUCKING DO, LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING, FROM THE PRIVACY AND COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME, YOU GOVERNMENT SONS OF BITCHES! But I digress. Forgive me. A government employee who sits at a desk all day, dealing with paperwork and rote rules is going to have all of the enthusiasm of a sack of mud. Effort will slowly go out the window, and so will your patience. Bureaucracy is the result of tedious rules enforced by people who have been sucked dry of life, like in Metroid. And speaking of shoehorned segues into video games . . .

Video games are already an expensive pass-time. You've gotta buy a console or PC, which can range from $300 to $3,000 depending of what it is and how powerful, and THEN you've got the price of the games themselves, which, at this point in time, is roughly $60 USD. And that's for one game. So, you finish that one in a couple of weeks TOPS and now you need more content. It's either back to the store for a whole new game, or hop online to see if there's some DLC for a few bucks. But what happens when, instead of clean digital DLC, you have to get back in your car, go to the store and buy an expensive toy that unlocks DLC? And whereas a DLC may have cost between $5 and $20, depending on how much content there is, that toy is going to run you at least $15, and the DLC is going to be something stupid, like a character skin. So not only are you overpaying for a useless trinket in the game, but now you're stuck with a useless trinket in your home. Stove attempts a call in, and someone impersonates a personality from another podcast. WHO GOT HIT WITH A $20 MILLION LAWSUIT? You'll have to listen to this week's episode to find out!