This week on Unsolved Mysteries…a podcast, known as HWIDG, is under attack by forces from the other side. Or is it something even more sinister? The hosts were recording on a Monday night, as they usually do. When all of a sudden, the inner-most studio door shakes violently. Its inner handle now dangles precariously loose. What sort of demon could be haunting this place? And is it the studio that is haunted, or is it one of the hosts? It’s that. His name is Tim the Handlebreaker. Why is this an Unsolved Mystery? Anyways, join us next week when we investigate:
* Colleague Competitions
* Pre/Post Shows
* Gluten Intolerance
Round 1…FIGHT! No thanks, Dave. I’m just gonna go ahead and actually work. Why? Because I have an actual job. You just sit at your desk and read emails and check Facebook all day. I’ve got stuff to do. If the boss wants us to ‘compete’ how about you try doing something useful, like what I do. And I’ll get a day of fitting down and doing nothing because I’ll finish your day’s work in about 15 minutes.
Hello and welcome to the HWIDG Pre/Post Show Issue Pre-Show! We’re here to predict what’s gonna happen on this issue today. Brought to you by Budweiser. Well I for one, looking back at this season think this issue’s got the gusto to go all the way! Well, that’s all the time we have folks! No on to the issue! “I don’t like pre/post shows.” Welcome back folks to the HWIDG Pre/Post Show Issue Post-Show! Man! What an issue tonight! I haven’t seen an issue like that since ’83! People will be talking about this for years to come! And that’s all the time we have, we’ll see you next week!
What *is* gluten? Do people actually know? It’s got something to do with flour I think? All we really know is that there’s been a deluge of gluten-free products and offerings the past 15 or so years. Did someone detonate a Celiac disease bomb in the upper atmosphere, spreading its fallout around the world? No. Jerks adopted the gluten-free diet of an actual disease and turned it into one of the hottest fad diets around. And then there’s the people that claim to have a “gluten sensitivity” which is code for I DON’T KNOW WHY MY STOMACH HURTS WHEN I EAT AN ENTIRE LARGE PIZZA AND BREADSTICKS. (Sidenote: don’t check the wikipedia page for Mock Duck unless you wanna be sick)
Buyer’s remorse kicks in hard sometimes. “Did I really need this? Isn’t this just going to sit in a closet for months?” Yes damn it, you’re an adult that’s what happens. I think because as a kid you have to make best of what you have, you learn to use it to its utmost capacity. So that’s why I feel bad for buying something and not committing myself to it. It was drilled in two me in my younger years, the moment you stop using something it’s going to some other kid somewhere else and you don’t get a replacement. Thanks Mom and Dad, now I have a fear of commitment.