Episode 269 - Go Dolphins — Here's What I Don't Get

We here at HWIDG think of ourselves, not just as a podcast, but as a global brand. With that in mind, we've been looking to expand our brand into other forms of media, which why, we're proud to announce that we have plans to acquire Microsoft. With their established foothold in gaming, computers, mobile, and more, we as a global brand will be able to do the one thing that no one could ever do. That's right, we're going to hold a public execution for that crime to humanity called Clippy. His long reign of terror over children's book reports and your mother's recipes will forever be a blot on our history, but with HWIDG and Microsoft now together, we can make this dream come true. More news about this is coming soon, so stay tuned, until then:

- No Shows
- The Babysitter Look
- Dead Dreams
- Football Small Talk

Work sucks. The person that gets to wake up happy to go to work every day is one in a billion. For the rest of us, it's get up, get some fuel in us, and muster the strength to deal with whatever today's problem is. And for those salaried 9-5 folks, you don't feel like going in? Take a day off. It's healthy, and hell, the company gives you those days to use. Use them. But when you do gig work thats time-sensitive, with wacky hours, you can't just call off. What you can do though, is lie. Especially now, with cough panic? You woke up with a fever, you've got to stay home. But the worst thing you can do is just not go to work with no answer. That's called being a dick.

I don't like babysitting. Having to train someone at work stinks, and it's hard to do it without coming off like a condescending dick or that you don't care. That's why we need some form of card or AR rig that lets you see just how experienced someone is in something. Yeah, i've got 3000 hours stocking shelves buddy, you don't have to teach me how a box cutter works. Imagine all the time and resentment you would save if you could at-a-glance tell if someone was a noob or not. Plus you could compare numbers with your friends and brag about it. "I've wasted 250 hours dealing with idiots at work!" "Yeah, well, according to my stats, ONLY 250 hours of of my work was spent not dealing with idiots. And I've been there for ten years!"

I have a dream that one day a man's memory will be so forgotten that he will be reduced to a name of a holiday. That children will praise his name without any sense of what he stood for, just because they don't have to attend school. I have a dream that his image will be tarnished by Hollywood as they attempt to "humanize" him and make him more "real". I have a dream that despite being a martyr, his death will mean nothing, even if it was at the hands of his own government. I have a dream that this man that preached equality will be radicalized into a figure that represents just the opposite of that.

How about them Dolphins? The ones at the zoo? Are they still being treated ethically? Are they really the smartest mammal after humans? Are they still rapey? Yeah, it's a whole thing. No, really they're quite sexually aggressive. Kinda makes you think about them differently, eh? What? Oh, there's a football team named the Dolphins? Oh, I -uh I knew that, I was just kidding around. Boy they really beat that other team quite badly last week. They scored a lot of hoopgoals, didn't they? Okay, look, I know nothing about sports, can we talk politics instead?

All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.