Episode 270 - Grand Theft Ticket

In lieu of a regular episode this week, here's something much funnier: three hours of audio of Tab playing Grand Theft Auto V. Will he get away from the cops? Will he throw the controller multiple times because of some bush you can't just drive through? Will he accidentally shoot the friendly A.I. because the camera freaked out? Will he be broke AF despite pulling off multiple million-dollar heists? The answer to all of these, unshockingly, is yes. Because that's what happens to everyone.

- Ticketmaster
- Day-Off Lethargy
- Playing Cops
- Online-ification

You know why people always want to cut out the middleman? Because he's a fraud. A fox that has wiggled his way into making you believe that he is essential as a go between between you and someone else. He makes its so easy, all you have to do is give him a little cut on the side. And Ticketmaster is the worst one. Why should a big arena pay for a Box Office with actual people that can help you when they can let Ticketmaster plop another 35% onto your overpriced tickets to see some past-their-prime rockers or coked-out pop star?

You got a day off of work? Congrats! Now, don't sleep in, go to the gym or work on your hobby so you don't feel like a waste and a failure. That's the modern mindset. Always grinding. Not working? Side hustle. Time off from both? Bettering yourself, keeping your hours constant. Non-stop. Why though? What's the use in working all the time to earn money for things you don't have time to enjoy because you're always working? Why isn't sleeping in and leisure time considered healthy for the mind and body? Work should be work, once you're off the clock, you're off. If time is money, spend yours how you want.

No one like a hall monitor, or a meter maid, or a security guard, or anyone else that likes to play pretend police officer. We know that it's not absolute power that corrupts absolutely, it's a modicum of power, so imagine the balls on the guy that actually does have absolute power. He must go around swinging them, showing them off to everyone he can. Russia acting up again? "Maybe they want to see my balls?" Some new resistance group pops up where they have lots of oil? "Is that oil for my balls?" North Korea testing nukes again? "Better go show them my balls!"

Games are not a thing you buy and play anymore. They are now services that you must keep up with, watch streams of, and stan for. What ever happened to sitting with your buds trying to beat that hard boss while chugging Mountain Dew and chomping on some pizza? Then watching The Matrix and Happy Gilmore again before trying to sneak a peek at some Skinemax? The internet happened. Why go over to your bud's place to pass a controller back and forth while calling each other names when you can play from the comfort of your own home, on your own Cheeto-stained mouse and keyboard, with no pants on, Netflix on your TV, while you and your friend wait in Discord chat because there's a new 25 GB update that nerfed your particular favorite weapon for being OP?

All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.