Episode 252 - More Beer!
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It's Fall now. I don't care what you say. We had the sneak preview, and now it's here, so chug a bunch of Claritin and get your carving kit out because some horny teens just moved in next door and you've got to stop them. While you're carefully hanging up the dead bodies in order to scare the virgin last girl, think about what went wrong in your life that got you here. Was it being drowned in a lake for being ugly? Was it dying in a fiery blaze because you like to touch kids? Or maybe because you're a magical midget that likes mayhem? Perhaps it was even one of these:
- True Crime Internet Detectives
- Not Enough Beer
- The Man Behind The Wizard
- Third Party Support Sites
Every now and then a 'girl next door' young blonde woman from Ohio pisses her boyfriend off enough or catches the attention of a crazed lunatic and for weeks all the news can talk about is the search for her. And with the rise of the internet, some people have started to take on the case themselves! Searching through social media and making a timeline of her movements in the lamest form of vigilante justice possible. Do they ever find the guy and go beat his ass? No. They find the wrong guy and get him arrested at work. But you know who could actually find all these missing white women? Batman. Not himself of course, I'm sure if Batman was real, he'd just have the Batcomputer solving all these cases in a minimized tab while he trolls through the local orphanage for his next Robin.
Outdoor festivals, what are they? They're cordoned off public areas that it's okay to get drunk in! Do you think its okay to run out of beer at one of these 2/3rd of the way through the day? What if you went to Six Flags and they stopped half the rides at 2 PM? You'd be pissed! Are there a dozen other things to do or see there? Yeah, but we all know what you're there for. What if all the rides were at the very back of the park and not spread throughout? That's just more poor planning. And it's not like this is the first time! You'd think they could fix this and make it better and more efficient year after year, but what do I know.
When you create a character or persona, it's important not to break the illusion. It's why when you go see a play and Hamlet stabs someone he doesn't stop, turn to the audience and say "Don't worry folks, I didn't really stab him, we're actors and this sword is a fake!" It's why kids cry when the guy in the Mickey Mouse costume pulls off his giant head. They don't care about the park employee, they want pure, unadulterated Mouse. Similarly, I don't need to know that you're depressed, or you want me to donate to a GoFundMe for your sick cousin, or even that you're on vacation so you won't be active for the next 2 weeks. You post dumb fake movie quotes, you're not a public servant.
You know that feeling you get when you go to a restaurant and the service is above and beyond your expectations? Or when the guy at the store you're at actually cares about what he sells and can give you great advice? That's great customer service. Unfortunately it's the 0.01% of all customer service experiences. More and more companies are moving support to third party services that handle 150 other companies already with a phone farm in Mumbai. "Josh" from SupportCo doesn't know and doesn't care about your very specific use case of a very expensive piece of equipment, he just wants his $1.25 an hour.
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.
