Episode 251 - Thanks O.J.!
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Webster's dictionary defines the number 251 as "the natural number between 250 and 252", but it is so much more than that. It's also the second number after 249 and the second number before 253. It is also the mass number of the element Californium which was discovered in a wastebasket of a green room the day after a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. But perhaps most importantly, the 251st episode of Star Trek is "Timescape" in which Data outright calls Deanna Troi a ho, and what, my friends, is better than that? So find your closest robot friend and get ready to call out the closest hussies as we discuss:
- Celebrity Gossip Pipeline
- Satellite TV
- Flaggots
- Non Fan Complaints
Celebrities! They're like a whole different species to us plebeians. How could we possibly understand their lives? With a bevy of 24/7 information on them! What are they eating and drinking? Who are they going out with? What kind of dump did they take last night? Any info you want on a celebrity is now available for the low, low cost of your soul. Every peek of a tabloid or TMZ news post chips away at your essence. Go read a book or learn a trade with all the time you spend wondering what brand of deodorant Jennifer Lawrence buys.
Stuff from space is awesome. Bar none. Spaceships. Aliens. Symbiotes. Phasers. TV. Except that last one. Don't get me wrong, the concept of getting your TV from a satellite in space is sweet, but it comes with some severe disadvantages. Turns out the weather is in between here and space, and since satellite already is geared towards those outside city centers who can't have cable run to their house, you're now stuck in the middle of nowhere without TV because of a little cloud. And I guess the satellite people think that folks out in the country are worrying 24/7 about not being able to go to the store to buy things if their wagon breaks down because approximately 78 percent of its programming is trying to directly sell you something.
People can't just not like things anymore. They have to stop everyone else from seeing it, instead of using the tools they've been given to not see it themselves. They are the kid in elementary school that tells the teacher because the comic book you're reading says "damn" in it. The kind of person that calls 911 on a jaywalker on an empty street. The crazy vegan that throws their food at the employees because something they didn't order has eggs in it.
Non-fans don't have rights. I'm sorry, that's just how it is. I have no reason to be upset if they made Slimer hot in the new Ghostbusters movie because A) I'm a grown man and Ghostbusters is for children and manlets and B) I have no stake in it! If I threw a hissy fit about it, I'd be getting mad just to get mad, and you don't want to be that kind of person. There are too many other things to actually be mad about than things you don't actually care about.
All this and more on this week's episode! Don't forget to join us on DISCORD, support us on PATREON or by BUYING A SHIRT.
