Episode 350 - Soul Food

Tim is once again live in person in the most dangerous city in America. He's still gun shy on the toilets, the table is a green screen, and we're talking about.

The Speed of Nine to Five
Inhumans

In this corporate hellscape we live in, many are trapped in a cubicle or office for 40 hours every week. Most people don't actually have 40 whole hours of productivity in them though. This is the real social contract we've become trapped by. Your employer will pay you for 40 hours a week, they expect you to be there, but they'll kind of look the other way when you spend half the day dicking around on facebook getting into arguments with relatives you haven't seen in nearly a decade. So even though you could wipe out the whole days work from 9am to 9:15am, for some reason you decide to dole it out little by little over the course of the week. That's great except you ARE WASTING MY TIME AS WELL!

Culture has exposed me to a lot of new ideas over the last few years. I used to think that there should only be one Tab per Million people, too many and you have too much chaos, too many people questioning the status quo. That was when I thought that I was abnormal, I thought my brain was wired not quite right. More and more I'm starting to believe my brain is closer to right than wrong, sure I often arrive at a conclusion in a different order than others, but the conclusion is usually the correct one. Learning that the people around you don't see pictures, can't hear audio, and can't imagine their feelings under different circumstances really brings that NPC meme into perspective. It's no wonder reading has subsided in our culture, to people like me it's watching the best movie you've ever seen. To NPCs it's just words on a page.

All of that plus the News, your voicemails, and unfortunately yes the announcement that this will be the last Consecutive Episode of HWIDG. After 350 straight weeks of doing the show, 6 seasons, 6 Co-hosts, and all of your generous time and support over the years. I have decided to end HWIDG while we are still on top. I want to sincerely thank you for listening, I'm extremely lucky to have had your ear for as long as I have. I wish you all the great fortune in your lives, and may you never lose the fire to stand up for what you believe in.

Tab

Episode 349 - Re-retiring, Again

Welcome back our buddy El Chaco this week. His internet is sabotaging him again, but we're pushing through and talking about

False Finalities
Toxic Masculinity

It's becoming pretty clear nothing will ever end again. Franchises must continue forever so that another buck can be squeezed from the stone. Does it really mean anything anymore when a character dies? When a Rockstar announces their final tour, and 3+ years of dates do you really need to rush to get tickets? Endings should be like the state of nature, nasty brutish and short. Rip off the band aid, move on, don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

As men continue to co-opt women's spaces, I've really turned the corner on toxic masculinity being a problem. Of course I'll always be the poster boy for toxic masculinity because I don't display my emotions, dress ambiguously, and I don't put pronouns in my email sign off. All the while true toxic masculinity burns women only spaces to the ground. Don't worry though, I'm sure it will end there, no way this spins out of control until we have State Mandated Homosexuality.

All of that plus we have your voicemails, and news of the week.

Episode 348 - Poorly Stapled

Buck is back this week, and we're unpacking some childhood trauma in this struggle sesh. So pull up a bean bag, light up a doob, and get ready to slappa da bongos bruddah.

Shovel Leaners
Crying About Working Conditions

When push comes to shove these days, you can count on just about everyone around you to do absolutely everyone around you to go out of their way to do nothing to help you. Flat tire? Eff You. Need help moving a large item in your apartment building? Get bent. Feeling some dark emotions and need a listening ear? Be a man! Surely there will be no consequences for our total ever growing societal narcissism.

These days instead of doing anything to advance yourself, just band together with the other absolutely useless people you work with and demand more. Sure maybe one guy in a hundred deserves more, but the other 99 of you are going to ride that guy to death while you try and squeeze another few bucks an hour. All the while they tell you "we're in this together" and pretend that the standard day to day functions of the job are somehow cruel and unusual.

All of that plus a secret members only island, and a conspiracy so vile but it's been right under your nose the whole time.

Episode 347 - Outrageous

Tony is on this week, and he brought his disavowing boots. So let's see how many times we can make him wish he had never done that thing which I use to black mail him into doing my bidding.

Not Believing in True Stories
Film Actors Guild

When a movie says that it is "Based on a true story" that means everything in it is completely factually accurate because dramatic license doesn't exist. Seriously though, don't base your whole ideology around movies, someday the writer will be revealed to be a sex pest and now you're completely devoid of personality. People can't do that though so they must defend to the death a movie, or risk being considered not a real fan.

The Film Actors Guild (S) went on strike this week. So all your mindless hours of television are going to be delayed. Oh no, what ever will I do without another Disney film for the rest of my life? I think it's odd they want you to stand in solidarity, but they don't want you to boycott the companies supposedly raking them over the coals. Wouldn't mass deletion of Netflix accounts make the executives race to solve the problem? Keep consuming dear customer, keep consuming.

All of that plus a head of state gets the finger, a "tragic" fire, and who got banned form the Voicemails?

Episode 346 - St Louis Revenge

Tim is back this week, despite St Louis best efforts to destroy him. He's technically a biohazard and he's raging against,

- Being Nostradamus
- Flopbusters

Humanity on the whole seems to have completely lost the ability for pattern recognition over the last few decades. Maybe it's attention spans being near zero, but it doesn't take an incredibly intelligent person to figure out that something that happens 109 times is likely to happen again, and have a specific cause. When you do get that noggin' joggin' and notice all there is to notice, you seem like a super genius compared to the NPCs we have around.

Is hollywood intentionally burning money? I'm really starting to wonder. They just keep shoveling out crap, ostensibly their goal is to make money, and make it from making movies. So why do they keep taking massive risks on giant blockbusters when some simple math shows that a 20 million dollar movie that makes 100 million at the box office is a better investment than a 340 million dollar movie that makes 700 million at the box office, and that example is two winners. I for one hope that they will collapse under the weight of their own ineptitude.

All of that, plus Tim gets the Official St. Louis Goodbye.

Episode 345 - Caiman Roll

Here we go again fans, Buck is back this week and we're talking about,

Being the Autistic Expert
Life on Easy Mode
Idealized Society Fantasies

These days if you want a lot of irrelevant amount of information about a niche topic, you can get Chat GPT to write all about it for you. In the before times though you had to talk to that weird kid who knew every winner of every WCW match from the last 38 years despite only being 9 years old. Every so often you run into that coworker that can tell you an excruciating amount of detail about the train that has you trapped in traffic on the way to your mandatory fun work getaway.

There are two kinds of people in this world. One type works hard, keeps quiet about their issues, and tries to make the world a better place for those around them. The other does the exact opposite, but also has the gall to blame everything on the first group and claims to be a victim of their hard work. If the first group just stopped doing the right thing, for even a week, the second group would collapse under their own ineptitude, and they can't even shut up about it.

Now if only those people would listen to this show this wouldn't be a problem. However they don't and no matter how much moaning we do the problem still exists. Trying to unproblem a problem from happening is the biggest delusion we live around. The perpetually online mouth breathers live in a fantasy land where if enough people wish a thing to be it will. Instead of discussing and fixing things, we get trapped in the first gear of these morons wishing it away.

All of that plus, up to the minute voicemails, what's on your mind in mexico, and new frontiers in misogyny.  

Episode 344 - Inalienable

Welcome back HWIDG listeners, we're shot out of a cannon this week, and railing against.

Human Rights TM
Bar Trivia

These days everything seems to be a human right, unless it actually benefits the individual, then it's a dangerous lie and needs to be stopped. It's so exhausting being beaten with the cudgel of rights while the ones that matter are constantly waived away, or even the "rights" being argued are only selectively applied. Unfortunately we're still a hundred thirty years from a better definition of rights.

Bars need patrons, patrons need something to do other than drink themselves to death. Enter bar trivia, wouldn't it be fun to get together with a few friends and answer some questions for some free beer? Well hold your horses, the table next door every single person is dicking around on their phone during the round. The questions are almost inaudible, and the prizes? Well they are basically worthless. So they gave away 5 beers, but they sold 50 to all the losing teams.

All of that plus whatever happened to the pickup truck ball cooler vent? Fake priests, and El Chaco needs to be vetted by interpol.

Episode 343 - Silent But Dedlay

Tony is back just in time to plug our episode of Talking about Tapes Reviewing Tomorrow Never Dies. And Tomorrow shouldn't die, but you know what should die?

Universal Studios
Bicyclers 2: Electric Bike Boogaloo

There is a common sentiment these days that the 80s feels like it was 20 years ago, but it is actually 40 years ago. Along with that comes the realization that children don't revere the franchises we grew up with. Out with Back to the Future in with Minions. We've got to head over to Fast and Furious land, it's where Jaws used to be, that old worthless film. As the sewage level of modern media slowly over takes the classics of a bygone era, so does the sewage of theme parks. Soon our beloved ginger Ariel will no longer be in disneyland, replaced by her dyslexic doppelganger.

Bicyclers are the worst of the worst on the smug scale. Now they've been electrified and are up to their worst behaviors at twice the speed. Fortunately being a bicycler isn't a constitutionally protected right, which is why we need common sense bicycle control, like not allowing people over 13 to ride them, and not being allowed to ride them more than 5 miles from your home. You will also be required to wear a kick me sign for 5 days following any bicycle excursion or face severe beatings.

All of that plus news from around the world, and your voicemails!

Episode 342 - Undiagnosed

Tim is live in the Most Dangerous City in a America! His tank is bone dry, but his issues runneth over. We're talking about;

- ADHD Content
- "We" Projects

Everyone is so hyped about being neurodivergent these days, it only makes sense that content be made specifically for those people. The internet being what it is though, it doesn't stay in its niche corner. Like a Blob it expands and consumes every feed it touches. Oh look a train!

Speaking of trains, we've all had the metaphorical train run on us by co-workers or spouses coming up with a project to work on, that is actually just a job for you. Don't insult my intelligence please, just say you want me to do a thing, don't try to con me into working together.

All of that plus news of the weird, and your voicemails!

Episode 341 - Morbid Glee

Buck and Chaco have taken the reigns while Tab is out of town. They're doing better than the last time thankfully and they're talking about...

Reciprocal Review Systems Celebrating Needless Death

The social credit system we have now is even more dystopian than the government enforced one in West Taiwan. At least there you know it exists, here we've been tricked into just giving everyone a pass for the sake of playing nice. We've all heard that story from a friend about a creepy uber driver, or a terrible airbnb experience, only for the person to still give 5 stars because "Don't want to be that person." Who does that help? The earliest I remember is Ebay and "keeping that 5 star rating" it was supposed to mean good customer service, instead it ended up just everyone has 4.9 stars because I don't want to be a dick.

When a criminal dies all the conservicucks come out to the comment sections to talk about how, "I'd totally do the same thing." "Stand your ground." "These colors don't run." instead of pausing for 15 seconds to contemplate the loss of another human life through unfortunate circumstances. And we all do it, that schadenfreude is a natural human element. The internet has just perverted and distorted it into a horrible cancer that is killing our humanity.

All of that plus some voicemails about the latest over the top film franchise, mandatory overtime, and the best type of news... none!

Episode 340 - The Hard Sell

Buck is back this week, and by some miracle of dead soldiers we were able to record in the early afternoon instead of 8 in the morning. Praise the lord of death and globohomo!

- Poorly Timed Relief
- Enlisting in 2023
- Timeshare Peddlers

It seems to me that every time I get a really good solution to a problem, it just goes away naturally robbing me of the satisfaction of fixing it myself, and leaving me only with the blue balls of inadequacy. I get so good at harassing telemarketers that they just start hanging up right away. Where is the fun there?

US Military enlistment is at an all time low, and of course it is. There is nothing to offer you except ridicule and likely death. After wasting the entire lives of the class of 2023 in the world's litter box the middle east, and showing that it all amounted to  a big case of JACK... SQUAT!!! Why would they be interested in doing that? 

Touristy places are flush with ways to literally throw money into a shredder every way you look. Perhaps no greater waste of money exists though than the Timeshare scheme. You see you pay a boatload of money to have access to a place for one, inconvenient, week a year and now all of your vacations have to be to that spot or it was a waste of money! Somehow people didn't learn this though, and you can waste a whole afternoon hearing about an amazing vacation package! Just so you can see some wax figures of dead celebrities.

All of that plus, Thankful Buck, Tab gets more memorabilia, and how you can sh!t the bed to a skinnier you!

Episode 339 - Short Sighted

El Chaco is back this week for a record breaking episode. We're all fired up and talking about;

- Cities
- Cultures that Don't Plant Trees

City folk would have you thinking that life is amazing being in a little pod a bus ride away from work. It's not cities are awful. Rural Wyoming has never been on the top 100 dangerous places to live in the US, however St. Louis was just found to be the Most Dangerous City in the US, We're Numbah One!! So while you're being bled dry with taxes of all forms, none of which get allocated properly, the city will do literally nothing for you. Thanks, I hate it!

Speaking of the Cities and the dwellers within, there is a real problem on the planet. We live in a culture that doesn't plant trees. Sure we talk about sustainability, and how we're killing the earth, but the proposed solutions are all knee jerk cockamamie schemes to steal money from the poor. Boomers spent a lifetime creating bond issues, and debt ceilings, so that they could live in their perfect world and not sacrifice one thing to get there. No my kids are going to pay for it! I need social security instead of making smart investments. So here we live in a land with 0 shade. Thanks, I hate it!

All of that plus, a slip of the tongue on TV, Monkey Pox on the rise during pride month, and FISH NEWS!

Episode 338 - Stay Outta Mah Swamp

Tim is back from another month on the road. He's sweaty, his knees are weak, his eyes are wide, and he's raging about

Swamps
Things not for the User

Why did people think living in swamps was a good idea? What pioneer felt the humid hellscapes of Florida and South Carolina and thought, "This is where I build my destiny!" Now generations later, meth head upon meth head has failed to leave and we need to do a conference out in America's Taint, Tampa Florida. Thank you so much.

More and more these days it is clear the things around us are not meant for us. A justice system that doesn't protect the law abiding, cars with features that don't benefit the driver like the annoying sounds Teslas make, shipping companies that won't let you make any changes to your delivery. Most of all though, education. Education sucks, and it should have become abundantly clear to most parents just how awful teachers are during the scamdemic. If you somehow missed it though, just scroll through literally any social media platform and see video after video of teachers talking about what wretched twats they all are.

All of that plus a news off, Tab loses his train of thought, and Andy has some clarifications on why Boomers need to face mass arrests.

Episode 337 - Speedrunning Your Roots

Welcome back HWIDGents and ladies, Tony is back this week and he's disavowing a storm especially,

- Rushed Origin Stories
- The Writer's Strike

Where did Indy get his Hat? Where did Han get his gun? Where did Jack Sparrow get his compass? Where did Superman get his glasses? Who could possibly care about the answers to these questions? If it were important it would have evolved out of the story naturally, but often in an effort to explain things we didn't need explained, they will jam every life shaping moment about a character into a 15 minute montage of stupid plot contrivances and conveniences for absolutely no reason at all. Why do they do this, because the writers are dumb.

Speaking of dumb writers, they're all boycotting work, boy I thought that was what they did every day! Based on the quality of entertainment for the last ten years would we really lose anything if hollywood shut down for a year or forever? Between foreign entertainment, and the massive back catalog of TV and Movies from the last 100 years I think we can all find something to watch. Not to mention the advent of small creators creating content far more compelling that your late night TV hosts monolog. I think we'd be better off with the current batch of writers going out and learning to code, and we can bring in some non-union writers who actually care about the properties they write for a shot. Let's call it 20 years to flatten the curve.

All of that plus did Tony leave his families Mario Celebration Dinner in the woods? Does a having a short bed on your truck make you gay? And what classic american documentary series inspired Tab's new Tattoo? The answer... May Shock You!

Episode 336 - Is Theft

Welcome back HWIDG fans, it's sunrise and buck is on his way down, Tab is on his way up, and they're both working on problematic terminology, incorporating more of it into their daily vernaculars. You know stuff like...

- People Who Don't Warn About Speed Traps
- Thinking Taxes Work

In this world of Defund the Police, the best way to defund them is to stop the constant highway robbery that is speeding fines. Not by going the speed limit, which as we've covered before is not about safety at all, but by warning oncoming drivers that there is a piece of garbage pig around this corner waiting to steal from you for the "crime" of going 5 miles faster than the crown has decreed. Yet there are NPCs out there who whole heartedly believe that you getting fined a few hundred dollars for inconveniencing literally no-one is somehow justice. We need another amendment to the constitution protecting our right to drive as fast as we desire. Remember my thin blue line friends, there is no law that a cop won't enforce against you.

Speaking of highway robbery, you'd think after all the money stolen out of my paycheck, stolen from my purchasing power, and then stolen from me for riding my motorcycle the way Sammy Hagar would want, that I would be riding on the smoothest most amazing streets on the planet. Everyone tells me that if we didn't have government we wouldn't have roads, yet somehow government can't even do a simple thing like make a road that doesn't look like a 15 year old anime fan that eats tubs of fried chicken. Driving in a car it's a lot less noticeable than when you ride, my daily commute has me weaving back and forth in the lanes to dodge potholes, weird humps where concrete and asphalt meet, and the occasional manhole cover. Where is that money going, and more importantly, why am I paying any of it?

All that plus we play a special version of the match game, player four calls in, and Uncle Buck can't read text messages.

Episode 335 - Trust Me

El Chaco is back this week, we're riding off the WATP/TDS Philly high, and we're talking shop about those that ruin your days.

- Expert Liars
- Women in the Workforce

In 2020 it became clear that most of those around us aren't good honest people. They are at best NPCs devoid of anything but the current programming they've been fed, at worst though they are an assortment of paths, and isms that all add up to one thing, destroying your life. People like this feel nothing about lying to your face, and unfortunately many of them are in positions of power where they can destroy your lives.

WWII really put us in a bind for labor and suddenly women were working. 80 years later and the employment scene is a hellscape the likes of which couldn't have been imagined by our grandparents. Hoflation is rampant, the family has collapsed, and worst of all, every company has some obnoxious HR department breathing down your neck about nonsense. Where's the objection to how women are over represented in that department?

All that plus the last rando voicemail, flying cows, and Tony blows another live show!

Episode 334 - Pod Are These Whocasts

Here it is HWIDG fans the biggest episode of the year, we've got all 5 co-hosts in one mega spite requested episode. We're taking a big dump on podcasters. We did have some technical issues on this one though, somehow a setting got changed and now dynamically inserted ads are all over the episode. Please bear with us as we boomer it out. And be sure to vote on who's podcast issue was best! 

- Audio Issues
- Podfading
- When Your Cohosts Suggests a Bad Episode
- TV Recap Shows
- Poor Archiving
- Advertisements
- Liquidation Stores
- Networks

Podcasting is the ultimate expression of free speech, for less than $50 you can have your voice heard all over the internet. Unfortunately that means that every moron buying a $20 USB mic on amazon think they are the next Joe Rogan. That naivety is forgivable to an extent, but there are big podcasts out there that sound like total garbage, and seemingly nobody else cares.

We've all been hurt by a TV show getting cancelled before a cliff hangar, Heroes just as super people are revealed to the world, Firefly just as it was getting interesting, did the Sliders ever get home, what happened when John Connor went to the future? Yet some of these podcasters will just abandon a show the way you might throw out a tupperware full of leftovers you thought you'd take to lunch 3 months ago.

We've all experienced it. You host a show of some sort and your cohost, comes in with some vague nonsense and you have to take up the slack and talk about it. Now the show isn't as good as it could have been and everyone is upset.

I have favorite TV shows, you have favorite TV shows, but you know what is nobody's favorite TV show? Hearing the weird guy at work describe in vivid detail last night's episode of the Outer Banks, you're 35 dude, and you're acting like this TV show is weird. That and you smell like one of your cats passed on.

Is there anything worse than finding something new and fun, and then learning there is an ocean more of it, only you can't have it because for some reason itunes decided 300 is the cap for most shows on their platform, and everyone else said, "Yep that sounds great." Steve Jobs screwing us again, well at least he's burning in hell with that traitor John McCain.

Who is advertising on podcasts? And more importantly who is buying things because a podcaster read some ad copy. It could only be the absolutely dumbest of the dumb. On the advertising side there is no worse platform for advertising. I literally have a button in the center of my dash that skips forward 30 seconds. I'm worried that I might break it somedays I hammer it with such fervor. Thanks a lot KARL!

One of these issues is not like the other ones. We've really slipped into a dystopian hell, thrifting became so popular, and vintage clothes so trendy that what used to be reserved for poor kids with single parents has inflated into a huge market for hipster cocks strutting around in ill fitting clothes. So since that works, why don't we have people sift through literal garbage with the hope that they may get some chinese made chochkey for dollars less than buying direct on amazon.

In business we're always trying to network, and networks used to be an important thing. There was a homogenization of network content on TV. You can always tell a CBS type show from an ABC type show, because one is awful and the other terrible. What better way to ruin the new medium by applying the old model than a Podcast Network. These networks crop up and it is just some talentless hack trying to trick a few more downloads out of his boring true crime podcast.

All of that plus we got some more voicemails from Mom, the true villain of taxes, and the start of the new beef? Find out on the longest episode of HWIDG to date!

Episode 333 - Framed

Tony calls in from his new set and we're talking about

Cheap Poster Frames
Disposability

It's 2023 shouldn't we be able to quickly and easily frame a poser and expect the frame to last more than 10 minutes? Of course not. All we get any more is trash. Short of spending a worthwhile amount of money, on something you got likely for free, is absurd to an extent. So instead we end up collecting garbage until it becomes worth less than the effort it takes to up keep the trash in our lives. Speaking of trash...

Why is that everything these days is so fleeting. Be it clothes, furniture, electronics, or vehicles it seems that everything is designed to be trash. What isn't soon to be trash is often non-existent, tickets and passes all scanned on a phone, or held in a app. All your favorite series are available on streaming until they are either censored or banned. You live in a world of permanent impermanence, and you'll like it.

All that plus we get some grocery lists, a pizza man, and getting the run around at the bank.

Episode 332 - Eternal Sunshine

Tim is back this week and we've broken out the bloodwine and started shouting about.

- Bliss
- Lack of Codes

These days it seems more and more like everyone around us lives in a self imposed hell worse than death. They hyper focus on the horrors of mankind, and there are legions of miserable people ready to refill the hog trough of misery with new slop every hour. Ejecting yourself from that system will only make your life better. I don't know a single person who is disappointed in themselves for not knowing what's going on in congress.

Our culture lionizes these orders and brotherhoods where men were men and live by a set of rules. One of the most fascinating parts of the John Wick franchise is the High Table over seeing crime and assassins. With all the coins and markers and other mumbo jumbo. Yet in our real world we prefer to live without rules, without consequences, without self restraint. And so we continue the slide into hell.

All that plus Tim brings some spicy news, more wrong numbers, and what movie Hotel did Tim survive?

Episode 331 - Spawn Camping

Watching Loved Ones Die
Disnefication of Animals